But once you see it, you can’t un-see it. More
We go through our ordinary lives seeing 10,000 things per day and we hardly ever stop to look at the small details. Here are 24 examples of things that are not exactly as they seem. The devil is in the details.
Once you see it, you can’t un-see it.
Another user used a similar tactic at work. They and their coworkers made a bad day jar for their boss. If the boss was having a bad day, they could reach into the jar and grab an affirmation that would help to pick them up. It's not so uncommon a practice after all.
Another Reddit user added to the thread some important words to bring up.
A popsicle stick that says 'you are worth it' is a fine sentiment but it doesn't approach the core driver of depression…A chemical imbalance typically cannot be cured through positive thinking.
Depending on how severe this user's girlfriend's anxiety and depression are, maybe other interventions are necessary. The boyfriend's heart was in the right place, but maybe other measures needed to be taken.
If your partner is not in therapy to help them treat their anxiety and/or depression, you should encourage them to enter it. You don't want to play the role of therapist, or it could change the relationship dynamic for the worse. If your partner feels more comfortable with it, you could try couples therapy.
Again, so as not to play the role of a therapist, just being able to communicate and actively listen to your partner suffering from depression or anxiety is so important. Oftentimes they won't want advice or a "solution". They'll just want a safe place for them to vent their feelings or speak their mind.
When a depressed or anxious person is in the midst of an episode, it might be hard for their partner to feel close to them, or even to speak with them. One way around that is to modify the communication style. For instance, you could both express how you feel and ask the other person how that makes them feel. This is called following and can keep the conversation going.
If you take your partner's anxiety personally, you run the risk of getting angry, upset, and making the episode worse. Remember: it's not about you. You can manage your feelings better than you can manage theirs. React calmly and compassionately, and objectively.
For those suffering from depression, sometimes the condition can color how you feel about the relationship. It can distort what's actually going on, and cause self-doubt. One thing PsyD Shannon Kolakowski says might help is to “Look for small ways to affirm that you are capable of affecting your path in life.”
If you're not sure if you have depression, or if it might be affecting your relationship, Dr. Antonio Borrello outlined some of the symptoms and ramifications of the condition. Being overly critical of a partner, little or no interest in participating in relationship-building activities, etc. can all be signs that you are suffering from depression, and that it's impacting your relationship.
Listening to your partner and learning about their depression or anxiety can actually help deepen your relationship. Care is a hallmark of any healthy relationship, but it also takes understanding and knowledge. By supporting your own mental health, you can stay resilient for your partner in their times of need.