Redditors Share The Craziest Things They Have Ever Witnessed At A Wedding

By Kanupriya - December 24, 2019

Weddings are crazy! There, we said it. The chaos, the madness, the planning, the catering, the guests, the decoration – if you honestly believe that NASA guys have trouble planning their next rocket launch, we suggest you ask from the bride, groom and wedding planners about what it is like before the wedding. People are not themselves! For the bride, it is the most important day of her life. It has to be perfect without a glitch. For the groom, it has to be the perfect day for his to be wife and for everyone else, it is just a beautiful day full of love and purity.

Though, that is what meets the eyes. On the inside? It is a roller coaster ride. Selecting the right venue, choosing the right guests, making the proper seating arrangement, checking on the tastiest buffet, having the perfect dress, etc. etc. etc. Thing are bound to go wrong! And our Redditors share the things they have witnessed going wrong in a wedding. And it is all crazy. Go on, read ahead and please do not take any tips!


The Wedding Game

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My coworker’s wedding was in the lobby of a nice hotel that the bride worked at.

The lobby was divided from the bar by a wall, but the ceiling was really high, and the wall was … not. This was during the NBA playoffs, and several times, the ceremony got interrupted by a crowd of guys yelling “FREAKING BULLSHIZ!”

Instead of walking down the aisle, the bride came down in this glass elevator right at the front that was supposed to look like clouds. Super tacky. So the bride gets off, the doors close and her dress gets stuck. There’s a delay as they get unstuck.

Then the ceremony starts. Five minutes in, the elevator goes back up … and then comes back down with a huge fat guy in a goddamn speedo and flipflops, with a towel around his neck. He literally descended directly into the ceremony. The doors opened, he just nodded, hit the button, and rode it right back up.


The Feel-Bad-You’re-Not-Poor Wedding

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The wedding was at a soup kitchen the couple sometimes volunteered at, presumably to remind us how selfless they are. Hundreds of homeless people were gathered outside and if the couple had said “hey, dress casual because if you’re coming to our wedding you’ll be helping serve the homeless” I would have been all for it – instead we stood there in nice clothes eating food while all the homeless people watched through the fence. Extremely awkward, totally classless. The homeless were essentially used as props. Also I had not really understood where this was or expected to run the homeless gauntlet to get in so I didn’t prepare my kids who were traumatized and kept asking if we were going to lose our house. On the plus side, we got to attend a wedding in a dirty parking lot.

Just to be totally clear, no homeless people were allowed in or received any food. They just stood there twenty feet away behind a fence watching us eat.

This may or may not have changed the soup kitchen’s planned schedule for the day or the total amount of food given out. Making charitable assumptions it’s possible they served lunch earlier and weren’t going to serve dinner anyway that day. (I have no clue either way.) I still feel like this was awful though.


The Bride Doesn’t Show Up Wedding

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Stood up in a wedding recently where all the guys were standing at the altar and the bridesmaids came up the aisle to music…the whole thing was going smoothly. Then the doors shut and everyone turned to wait for them to open for the bride to walk in.

Except we waited, and waited. The usher (brother of the bride) poked his head out, left, came back and motioned for his mother to come back immediately.

She left, we waited more, usher called for one of the groomsmen (other brother) to come back there. He left, we waited.

Turns out the father of the bride had a massive kidney stone that must have started passing right when he was supposed to walk his daughter down the aisle.

The bride was a mess, the father was screaming in agony, the organ just kept playing music softly. Eventually we found out what was happening so everyone kind of relaxed that it wasn’t the bride running away.


The Brawl Wedding

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One wedding I was at a few years ago was pretty big (maybe around 100-200 people) and it erupted into a gigantic brawl. Like at least half the people there were involved.

I don’t know how it started, aside from a bunch of people being way too drunk, but it started outside where people were smoking. I was sitting at my table having a drink and noticed that the dance floor like fully cleared out. I walked over to the bar and noticed a bunch of people fighting right at the entrance. Eventually it spread inside to the front entryway and near the bar. I sat at the bar watching it all unfold and had a drink.

An older guy got pushed through a window and had a huge gash on his head, the groom got a tooth knocked out, a lot of people had blood stained shirts and like 10 cop cars and a few ambulances showed up. I don’t know if anyone got arrested because I didn’t stick around too long after. The bride just went to the bathroom and changed into normal clothes, seemed pretty distraught. I think they’re still married..


The Fiery Wedding

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I was a wedding DJ back in the day, so I’ve seen ‘em all; but my all time favorite was at a VFW Hall in Wisconsin. The buffet was set up in the center of the dance floor, opposite the head table, with guests seated on either side and my set-up at the far end of the dance floor directly across from the head table. (Buffet was between us)

The caterers put sterno cans directly onto the paper tablecloths covering the buffet…and the whole thing went up in flames about 10 minutes after their were lit. The Hall manager comes rushing out with a fire extinguisher, glances in one direction towards my thousands of dollars in equipment and in the other direction towards the head table…and proceeds to blast the buffet-flames, pointing the extinguisher right at the head table. Every dress, tux and hairstyle was ruined…to say nothing of all the food.


The Highly Emotional Wedding

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Hey, I did something like that. For a little context, I’m a large, bearded man. When I was 18 I got ordained on a lark, and was surprised to find that people were actually taking me up on it, and asking me to perform wedding ceremonies. But it wasn’t until a decade later that I actually performed one that choked me up.

They were two of my oldest friends at that point. She had had a crush on him since she was twelve, and when they were in their early twenties he finally relented and took her out on a date. I remember him telling me about it shortly thereafter. We were all really close.

Then the wedding arrives. A flippant comment about eloping turned into them actually getting married at the Bellagio in Vegas. It was probably the nicest wedding I’ve ever been too. And there I was, the officiant. I was very honored that in spite of all their finery, they wanted me to marry them.

The wedding starts. The doors open. She walks down the aisle. I start the ceremony. I’m a brief kind of guy, I don’t want to drag this out. We do the readings. I get into the meat of it. And here I am looking at my friends. And I start crying. I got choked up, and had to take a moment to center myself.

I was mortified, but afterwards everyone told me how much they loved the ceremony, and that me crying just brought another level of authenticity to it. I’m still mildly embarrassed, but it’s also one of my more treasured memories.


The Loveless Wedding

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My buddy John’s little sister was getting married. The couple were about 20 years old. They had no money. They rented a volunteer firefighter hall for the reception. Somehow, they managed to wrangle plenty of money for liquor and beer and I was asked to tend the open bar. I had never tended bar in my life.

The hall filled up. People asked for drinks. I knew how to make a screwdriver and gin-and-tonic, and how to pour a beer from the keg. So I was doing OK. One old guy asked for a drink I’d never heard of, so I splashed a bunch of vodka in a cup and put some red juice in it. He loved it. He came back for many refills.

The party got loud. Then an argument broke out between the groom (who was a nasty lout) and some dude. It devolved into fisticuffs. The fight spread quickly. Sides were chosen. Now it was an all-out brawl. Fights everywhere, tables and chairs flying. Pandemonium!

I was about to abandon my post when the old man came back and ordered another stiff red vodka drink. I poured him another stiff one and we watched the screaming and fighting and shiz flying everywhere. He remarked about “kids these days” and we had a good laugh. After a while people left. The hall was a complete mess. I didn’t want to hang around when the firefighters returned, so I left.

John later told me the couple got fined by the firefighters, lost a big deposit, and had been fighting throughout the “honeymoon”. I was very surprised when they divorced shortly after. Where did the love go? I wondered.


What The Fish Wedding

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One bride had her wedding and reception at church, and the centerpiece for each table included a goldfish bowl and live goldfish. Of course she had no plan other than leaving them behind.

The catering manager collected them all into a bucket and was about to send them to the briny deep via an insinkerator when it was decided that would be inhumane. So the fish were dumped into the church’s aquarium which is in the day care lobby. 24 hours later… cue a room full of traumatized and crying children as the entire batch of bridal goldfish plus the legitimate tenants of the day care aquarium are floating sideways.

Sorry I did forget one bit of context. The thing is weddings happen on Saturday. So the parents were planning to drop their children off at day care prior to church service on Sunday only to be confronted with fish lazily circulating in a grey, soupy cloud of death.


The Funeral Wedding

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At my uncle’s wedding the mass had to be rushed and cut massively short because the priest had messed up the timings and booked a funeral for 20 mins into the wedding slot but he only told us that 10 mins into the mass up until that point everyone thought he was just being a junk.

So he cut peoples speech shorts (by clicking his fingers and saying that’s enough), skipped songs, kept telling anyone walking up to hurry up etc.

We all came out to see a dead body (open casket) being pushed into the church and a hundred odd people crying, just a very bizarre moment.

So all the photos and videos outside of the church either have a dead body in the background or loads of people in black, crying their eyes out.


The Adidas Wedding

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My close friend’s dad died of cancer a couple of years ago and me and another friend went to the funeral to pay our respects and be there for the family.

We got there a little early, along with my friend and his girlfriend and his brother/girlfriend. There was a wedding finishing up in there so we had to wait in the entrance of the church. The wedding finally lets out and we see the guests rolling out, followed by the wedding party. All of the bridesmaids and groomsmen were dressed in full Adidas tracksuits and sneakers.

Then the bride and groom make their appearance and she is wearing a pink wedding dress with a pair of Adidas and a track jacket over the dress. The groom is wearing a white Adidas track suit with a matching hat. They both walk out hand in hand doing the c-walk dance and trying to hand us these party poppers, which we politely declined. I think they realized after that we were there for a funeral because they stopped dancing and hurried outside.

I looked at my friend and we couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. Those people were doing their thing and having fun and it certainly lightened the mood of a very sad day, which is what his dad would have wanted.


The Happily Drunk Wedding

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A friend of mine had just received the news that he passed his final CPA exam that morning and he had a friends wedding to attend to later that night. Needless to say, he was in the mood to celebrate. He got a little too drunk too quickly and was soon falling over on the dance floor by himself. The father of the groom tried to grab him and take him outside to get him in a cab and back to the hotel, my friend proceeded to yell at him and tell him, “It’s my day to celebrate, too!” and he walked to a car in the parking lot and slammed his fist through a random car windshield. They finally got him in a cab back to his hotel, where he woke up the next morning and rolled over to see the guy he was sharing the room with and said, “Last night was a really fun wedding.”…. Oh boy he was in for a rude awakening.



The Guns N Roses Wedding

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About 5 years ago, I was a valet at a nice country club. Some guy got there early and parked right in front of the clubhouse in a puke-green 1980s Honda Civic, locked his doors and ran inside. I chased him down and tried to get his keys, but he was acting super sketchy. I finally got the event planner to convince him to let me park his car in the lot, and he made me swear to return his keys. Upon entering the car, I noticed a few handguns (unlocked, with the safeties on) under the driver and passenger seats. I returned the keys, told him no one would enter the vehicle, and went back to parking cars… forward a few hours later into the reception, the man had an argument with another guest, got one of the weapons from his vehicle without myself or any coworkers noticing (our bad) and discharged it into the ceiling of the venue.

SWAT came, he was arrested, and luckily no one was injured.


The Baking Coke Wedding

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Oh! It was my wedding.

The night before, the bachelor and bachelorette parties merged at some point. Best Man kept trying to get Husband to go to the strip club, but they were WAY too drunk to be allowed inside. Best Man attempted, and I was right. I couldn’t find my dad for awhile, and then located him alone and drunk in the corner holding an entire pizza. I’ve never seen such a blissful look on another human’s face.

The next day, The makeup artist glued a false eyelash to my contact lens and my eyes wouldn’t stop watering for three days. It messed the makeup up, so I just told everyone I was happy-crying. We had a breathalyzer that was purchased for the night before, and most people blew a .08 at breakfast. One of the groomsmen decided to inform us an hour before the ceremony that he wouldn’t be attending,. This wouldn’t have been as bad, except it was a destination wedding and he SWORE he had plane tickets and was coming the night before. We had to fill his spot, so there’s one guy in our pictures wearing a powder blue suit. It did not match, but it made for a good story.

Later on in the evening, the best man disappeared for awhile. He comes back eventually; apparently he had found some sketchy weirdo and bought $400 worth of what he thought was coke, but was actually baking soda. He still hasn’t lived that down.

All in all, it was a great time!


The Princess Bride Wedding

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The wedding party re-enacted most of the bride’s favourite film.

The bride’s favourite film was The Princess Bride.

The Princess Bride is a masterpiece of writing, held together not just by the incredible script, but by absolutely astonishing casting. There is no role in that movie, no line, no segment that can be improved upon. It is, literally, perfect. Everyone knows this. William Goldman knew it when he wrote it. Ron Reiner knew it when he directed it. Everyone from Carey Elwes to Billy Crystal knew it when they acted out those scenes. It is not possible to improve this movie.

But it is possible to attempt an am-dram replication in front of 200 unsuspecting guests at a wedding.

I suspect it will be unnecessary for me to describe exactly how excruciating it was. They did, to be absolutely fair, remove certain sections. It was not the entire 90 minute experience, but it wasn’t that far away from it either.

They had the “I am not left-handed either” sword fight.

They had Inigo Montoya.

They had the ROUS bit.

They had the torture sequence.

They skipped the wedding bit, in one blessed moment of relief, at least they skipped the wedding bit. Because they were already having… you know… a wedding.

I will never forget that hour, and I am not alone in saying as much. If you were there – if you had seen it – you would know. Otherwise, words fail me. It was, in the truest sense of the word, an absolutely sobering experience. I have never witnessed anything like it.



The Fountain Wedding

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At a Jewish wedding. Everyone is doing that dance where they all hold hands and dance in big circles. In the center of the dance floor was a fountain (important later).

The song keeps picking up tempo and people keep going faster to keep in time with the music.

Eventually the pace is too fast for the center circle and they begin to lose control, tugging on each other to maintain balance. They begin to teeter dangerously close to the fountain when…………splash!…….. into the water goes the mother of the bride!

Everything screeches to a halt, the band stops playing and in synchronized fashion the crowd inhales and holds their breath, waiting for the mom’s reaction to see whether or not they can laugh….

She stands up, looks down at her soaked dress, then raises her arms and shouts “good thing I brought 2 spares!”



The Stabbed Wedding

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Had a cousin get married in the late 70’s. At the reception afterwards lots of drinking. Couple of guys were there drinking, being loud and obnoxious. After awhile my drunken family realizes that no one has a clue who these guys are. So my dad decides to tell them to leave. They get belligerent and a fight ensues. The melee is quickly pushed outside with the majority being dad versus the 2 wedding crashers and everyone screaming in pandemonium. At one point Dad grabbed a hold of one guys hair and used it as leverage to punch him in the face. Hair comes off in his hand (toupee) raises it above his head and screams, “I scalped the MFer.” He no more than gets MFer out of his mouth and the other guy sucker punches him in the nose. This is the tipping point (I guess before this point they were just having fun???) as Dad says “alright” and pulls out his pocket knife. Guy picks his “scalped” buddy off the ground and runs into the tree line with him. Dad tries to follow but my Aunts and Uncles successfully grab a hold of him to get him to stop.


The Sarong Wedding

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Groom’s brother showed up in a Sarong.

Now, here’s the really funny part. Groom/Groom’s family is Ba’hai. It isn’t a strange religion, but it isn’t manistream. One of my friends was seated at a table with the groom’s brother, and knowing this, decided to inquire if it’s “cultural attire” — just genuine curiosity, after all, it isn’t every day you see a guy shows up in a sarong. Not a kilt, a sarong.

The brother got offended and stormed off for a while. After a minute or so, his wife pulled my friend aside and informed him that “he couldn’t find pants in his size”.

I mean, the guy was big, but not like… oddly big, if you know what I mean? I have to applaud him for his ingenuity. I’ve never been in a situation where I was lacking pants… and if I was, “wear a sarong” would not be the first solution that would come to my mind.


The Last Min Bridesmaid Wedding

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I was a last-minute sub as a bridesmaid after the bride kicked out everyone who didn’t go to her Bachelorette party. Shoulda known.

She has a panic attack a half hour before the ceremony and throws everyone out of the dressing room. I remember the photographer’s deer-in-headlights look when she returned from the restroom to find all of the bridesmaids, moms, aunts and flower girls all just sitting in the hall until she had calmed down.

Then, the ceremony starts and everything goes perfectly – except she chose the WORLD’S LONGEST SONG for the procession and had decided she wanted to enter the chapel near the end of the song but didn’t tell anyone. So there’s like, twenty members of the wedding party just standing there for nearly five entire minutes, awkwardly smiling and wondering where the hell she is. We legit started to worry she had run.

Then, during the reception, she plays a music video she had made for the groom which included going to a recording studio, shooting a full video, etc. THEN the curtains open and there’s the bride – to sing the song. Yup. The same song we had JUST WATCHED HER SING in a music video. It didn’t even feel like a wedding. Brittany just threw herself a “Look at Me” party. They separated six months later.


The Last Min Bridesmaid Wedding


The Worst Anxiety Wedding

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Expert here. Seriously, I was caterer for years and have been around for at least 1000 weddings.

Pills, a lot of women have huge anxiety about their wedding, and a lot of those people take oxy or god knows what.

I was serving a jewish wedding and there was a chair dance, it looked like a pretty muppet, until she violently vomited everywhere..I mean EVERYWHERE I think 9/10 people came out of it with vomit on their shirts and dresses.

She had her first dance after that…you know, the one that the Bride and Groom usually do?

She was physically standing while vomiting and her husband basically danced with vomit on his shoulder while holding her up

This was not a cheap wedding either, it was at the best venue I know of, I saw the bill and it was around 120k (service, lake house rental, food, 30 servers, managers flowers that hand to be “hand picked” and a guest list of about 300 people).

She’ll never remember shiz because her eyes were basically in the back of her head at that point…

Also I’ve seen two people faint at weddings. It’s somehow always the guy


The Star War Wedding

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The wedding was freaking weird with Star Wars stuff all interspersed within it. Im not against Star Wars, don’t get me wrong but it feels weird if you shoehorn it into a wedding. There was some shiz in the vows and like some inside jedi jokes or something I don’t know and then after they kissed and he was like I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Nerdface and then Star Wars music started playing.

But that wasnt the crazy part. The crazy part was that there were two pastors and after the service one of them forgot to turn their mic off. We can hear them over the loudspeakers because we have to wait for Mr. and Mrs. Nerdface to come to our row and tell us thanks for coming and give us a hug or whatever takes so freaking long after a wedding. First thing the pastor says to the other pastor is, and I quote, “Thats the worst wedding Ive ever done.” Other pastor you cant hear as well but he’s like, “oh really, mmmmumble mmmumble, think, why did you mmmmumble mmmumble.” Then you hear the first dumb ass pastor louder than ever, “OH ALL THAT STAR WARS STUFF IT WAS TERRIBLE” Just broadcasting loud as day over the speakers in the church sanctionary, I mean everybody clearly heard that this was the worst wedding this guy had ever done. Then you could hear someone telling him his mic was on he was like “Oh. oh my.”

Then it was like he realized that everything he just said had broadcasted to the whole place cuz he must have put the mic up to his fat heckin face and he goes “SOR-RY” God damnit I laughed so hard at that, even when they were dismissing us I was still laughing at that dumb bumbling pastor and then the bride was so pissed, for some reason that made me laugh even harder, I just couldnt hold it in.


The Awkward Wedding

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Went to a wedding a few years ago that my mom and I use to rate disastrous weddings on.

For starters there was a funeral at the church 2 days before the wedding, the bride asked the family if they could be out an hour after the funeral started so she could decorate

The wedding started 35 minutes late.

The bridesmaids wore nude color dresses that where skin tight, only one of them was under 200lbs

The Groom had a visible boner the entire ceremony, and kept thrusting his hips into the bride.

The bride and groom went missing for a good 20 minutes after the wedding. They were found out behind the church on the playground banging one out.

The gifts and cards with cash, that the groomsmen and bridesmaids were supposed to load into a car were stolen. Because they were looking for the bride and groom.

The groom and groomsmen started a game of basketball on the dance floor, knocking over a couple of older people.

My mom and I left 20 minutes after the reception had officially started, apparently things got worse as the booze started flowing.


The Cult Wedding

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Friend of mine got married to this dude at a cult.

She’d been living there for a couple years, and soon after they had begun the ‘courtship’ process. They would hold hands, go on long walks…but couldn’t have sex or even kiss until they tied the knot.

Once we got there for the big day, we didn’t realize it would be such an event. We saw her for maybe 2 mins tops the whole day, otherwise she was either busy or whisked away to a back room somewhere…

Once the ‘ritual’ starts…

It was like. 5 hours long? There was a ‘pre-enactment’. Which is like a re-enactment, only it predicts things to come. It predicted the apocalypse, where Jesus (the groom) would do battle with the 7 deadly sins. Then there was a sermon about how Jesus (the groom) is like the saviour in the relationship, and the church (the woman) is the vessel to receive his divine grace. Also women are apparently some type of appliance, which must support their husband at all cost, and must always continue to do so. Also, no condoms.

So then there’s a bunch of hymns, singing, prayers, dancing, more hymns, more prayers, for a couple hours. We take a break for some food. There was a play, I think. More stuff about how you die and are reborn when you accept Jesus. To love him is to die and give him your life…

Then the actual wedding ceremony. It’s fire and blood. Brimstone and death. Together, until the apocalypse. His vows went something like “I purchase you with my blood, the blood of the lord, and you are mine forever.” Her vows are more like “I promise to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen/working the fields for the rest of my life”. When they started talking about how marriage should only be between a man and woman and that the bond is sacred I started fumbling for my keys. Anyway.

They kiss for the first time, ever. It looks…not too awkward.

Then the entire wedding party gets up and starts chasing them. I mean, full sprint, we chase them out of their wedding tent, on to a dirt road. We chase them for a while, until they stop at a cabin. They bid farewell, and thank the guests. After, they proceed into the cabin to consummate their union. We mill about for a minute or two before we realize we should probably not be around to hear this.

We left shortly after, and I got the drunkest I have ever been in my entire life.

9 months later she gives birth to her first child. I have not seen her since the wedding.


The Weird Multiple Weddings

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Not all at the same wedding:

Bathroom started on fire.

Bride squatting and peeing on ground in wedding dress.

Fire alarm pulled – in the middle of winter.

Bride gown with plastic table cloth accents.

Bride holding up reception for an hour to heck husband then texting people at wedding about it.

Guy brought his own hamburger into reception.

Groom stripped to his underwear at reception.

Bride falling off her shoes (flip flops) no less than 8 times at reception.

Grooms ex gf toasted the bride then ran into the bathroom and fetal position ugly cried for 20 minutes

Vegan and GF food all went bad so food poisoning- yay for me.

Dude moving tables away from the dance floor to make more room to play with his dance dragon sticks.

Grooms sister sneaks 8 or so hula hoops into reception “just in case”

There’s more. I just can’t remember them all right now.


The Weird Single Wedding

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I’m a wedding photographer and have been told I could write a book. My most OMG thing or things would be:

I drove 2 hours to the venue, to be told the wedding is off, only to find out that an hour later it’s on.

Found out the Bridal Party broke into a fight last night and someone stole the money that was to be paid to the vendors.

The groom showed up at 10am, completely wasted.

The wedding ceremony happened at 1pm instead of 11am as planned.

The bride and groom continued to argue throughout the reception.

The groom felt up his mother during the mother/son dance.

They’re still married.

This was a year and a half ago now. But still one of the biggest WTF and OMG moments.


The Apocalypse Wedding

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My youngest brother’s wedding. The ceremony was going to be held at a state park. Mine and my sister’s family load up into one minivan and caravan with other guests out to the park. After an hours drive, we arrived at the entrance but are told to turn around by one of the groomsmen. He informs us that they do not allow wedding ceremonies at this park because of incidents that have happened in the past. My brother and his bride were aware of this before hand, so their plan was to drive in, set up quickly, have a ceremony and hightail it out of there to the bar where the reception was. After being told this, my thought was “They were going to have a drive-by wedding?“

We drove another hour back into town and held the wedding at the bar that had a reception hall, but I was told it was mostly associated as being a biker bar. The rest of the wedding went off without a hitch. I will say that it’s the only wedding I’ve ever been to where the vows included the words “zombie apocalypse.”


The Moon Wedding

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My wedding…. My brothers and I have a history of mooning at weddings and other family gatherings. It started off as a rather juvenile thing: 3 or 4 white cheeky butts greeting you as you left. Somehow the tradition persisted. I think it persisted because there is nothing better than dropping trowel as someone drives off. It’s just funny!

Anyway, as being one of the most frequent perpetrators of the mooning and having mooned just about everyone in my family at some point or another, my family decided it was payback time. They spread the word. As we are leaving the reception, we open the door to town car driving us off and there’s two moons greeting us. Then as we drive off we pass by a line of about 40 moons, including moons from some older more prudish/mature family members. I could not have been prouder of my family than that day!

The only challenging thing about it was explaining it to my MIL when they picked us up from the airport on our return from the honeymoon. They had some questions about it….


The Snotty Wedding

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I attended a wedding a few months ago. The groom is a pretty emotional guy so as soon as he sees the bride in the doorway of the church tears are coming down his face. He’s sniffing and wiping his eyes/nose with his sleeve (no handkerchief) all through the ceremony.

They do the rings and as they do the sun comes out and shines through the beautiful stained glass window behind the altar. As the groom puts the ring on the brides finger, a string of thick snot slides out of his nose and hangs at about 15cm long for a couple seconds before it breaks and lands of the floor.

It was completely silent so you could hear the audience gasping/giggling. The snot was very obvious as it too was beautifully backlit by the window.

I’ve never seen anything like it, it was like something out of a movie.


The Sad Wedding

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At my My godfathers wedding his brother may he rest in peace had a little defib thingy thay shocked his heart to keep it going since he had a hole in it since birth. It malfunctioned in the middle of the dance floor and everyone stopped dancing because we thought he was having a heart attack and an ambulance had to come the the party and put him on a stretcher. We were easily 20 floors up. Went from cha cha sliding to his heart shocking his body. Was crazy tho this was back in like 2011. He died last year in winter to pneumonia at I believe 40 years old. He used to wrestle with me when u was little just so sad but at least he’s not in pain anymore.


The Unfaithful Wedding

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Went to a big wedding at an extravagant home in Arizona. Two hours after the ceremony out in the back yard I headed inside to use the bathroom. The house is full of partying people and loud music. I head down the hallway and see a bedroom door at the end open about 2 inches.

Through this crack I see some random male guest (not the groom, obviously) standing behind the now-topless bride while he reaches around and lovingly massages lotion into her tits. Her eyes are closed and she is leaning back into him, a huge smile on her face.

I told my female companion, and she laughed and said I was full of shiz. When I didn’t say anything she decided to go in and see for herself. I stayed outside. About 60 seconds later she returns and says “what. the heck…?”

Now every time a wedding is announced we say “who gets to rub lotion into the bride?”, and laugh.


The Kickazz Wedding

Credits: imgflip

At a family wedding reception when I was 6 or so, strange man asks me to dance with him, and heck I love dancing so let’s go for it. Start dancing and he sits down and asks me to get on his lap, and well I am tired so yeh it would be good to sit down… Then strange man asks for a kiss, I don’t want to kiss strange man so I try to get away. Strange man won’t let me get away so I punch him as hard as I can in the face. Blood everywhere, he drops me and I run and hide . He runs out the wedding clutching his face. Mum finds me because bro squealed on me and I think I’m freaking dead. Turns out no one knew this guy, he wasn’t meant to be at the wedding and was just some drunk stranger. Close call. Too close.