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Redditors Share The Most Stupid Ways They Got Injured

By Sana Ahmad - December 11, 2019

Each one of us get hurt (and that happens more than once in a lifetime in spite of all our prayers and precautions, because LIFE!), sometimes because of our own carelessness and at others because of somebody else’s stupidity. Sometimes the hurt is just physical but there are times when it goes beyond that. Yes, you guessed it right; we are talking about all those times when people hurt your feelings or when that loved one broke your heart or someone you counted on let you down. Honestly, we prefer the former (and most of you would agree with us on this) because mending a broken heart is one of the most difficult things one can ever have to do!!

However, we did not mean in any way whatsoever that the pain arising out of getting hurt physically is a joke, because we know for sure that it is obviously NOT! All of us have cut our fingers while trying our hands at cooking or sprained our ankle because of walking too fast and any of those experiences have not been ‘worth the pain’ at all. Also, one of the two things happen when you hurt yourself like that; one – you either go numb in that area and thus feel nothing for the time being or two – you scream and/or cry like a baby (well, there is a third possibility too, that is, you just suck it up and endure the pain like brave-heart).

Read on to find out the stupid ways in which 30 of these Redditors got hurt….

 

When You Fall Asleep With All Your Weight On One Arm

Credits: Mememaker

“I was sleeping one afternoon, and all my weight had fallen on my arm. As a result, my arm fell asleep too and got dead numb.

The phone started ringing and the sound somehow blended in my dream, causing me to dream about a fire alarm going off. I got panicked in my sleep and that panic continued when I realized that the ringing wasn’t just in my dream, it was happening for real. So I popped up, sleepy and confused, and started running towards the source of the noise.

Comically enough, my arm was so numb that it was beyond my control and was flailing randomly by my side, crashing onto nearby walls and furniture as I was running towards the sound. It was like running with a jelly-like arm, like the one Harry Potter had in HP and the Chamber of Secrets when Lockhart deboned it accidentally.

Anyway, I don’t know which of the billion crashes and bumps was the one that did the job, but that’s how I dislocated my pinky. It was a good hit, and my finger stood at a really weird angle afterwards, so I had to go to the doctor to put it back in its place. Hurt like hell too.” (I_hate_traveling)

Got A Cut From Spiked Fence

Credits: Makeameme

Right so if you’re like me when there is a railing on a path you’ll slide your hand across it for some unknown reason, well I once tried this on a spiked fence and cut my hand open because my brain just inserted the smooth rail on top of it.” (Wilddagz)

Series Of Accidents In Bali

Credits: Imgflip

I was in Bali. As many stupid tourists do I had a (pretty minor, thank god) Vespa crash where I bumped into another Vespa and hurt my leg. That night, I drunkenly stepped backwards off a meter high deck straight onto the same foot. With a very bruised and painful leg, the next day I walked directly into a pot plant and split open the shin of the same leg. I’m a liability.” (nonnikcamvil)

Football Game Gone Wrong

Credits: Wikipedia

I’m Brazilian and suck at football, which now as an adult doesn’t matter but when I was a kid it was treated like its goddamn national treason.

In the odd occasion when I was forced to play outside my close circle of friends, I was usually goalie because I was less useless that way. So anyway I was playing as not goalie in a school trip once, went to steal the ball from a classmate in the opposite team, aimed for the ball, kicked his leg instead. Broke my big toe. Being a school trip, I only reached a hospital like 10 hours later when the bus got back.

I’m 27, did a lot of dumb things in my time, and to this day that is still the only bone fracture I’ve ever had.” (SubcommanderMarcos)

Story Of A Broken Collarbone

Credits: Needtagger

I broke my collarbone doing push ups. I had a bone density issue from not getting enough calcium (drink your milk kids) and had been recommended by a doctor to work out more. It was when I was at the bottom of the push up, with my elbows fully bent parallel to my torso. I heard, not so much a pop, more of a dull burst sort of sound. I felt it, too: something inside my suddenly jerk out of place followed by a moderate pain. My immediate thought was that I had dislocated my shoulder. I got up, simultaneously annoyed and relieved that I wasn’t able to finish the set – the same sort of feeling as when someone persuades you to have a delicious looking piece of cake when you’re on a diet. For the next hour or so, I sat on the sofa watching Modern Family, desperately trying to ignore the ever increasing pain. When I got up, I realized that I couldn’t move my shoulder joint without extreme, sharp pain searing through my right shoulder, sometimes in my chest or down my arm, but mostly along the clavicle.

As it was late by this point, I made myself a cup of tea with my non-dominant hand, knocked back a couple of pain killers and went to sleep.

It wasn’t an easy night.

The next morning, the pain was worse than ever, easily qualifying for the ‘bring something to bite on’ category and possibly weaseling it’s way into the ‘oh my god this is making my eyes water; it’s actually quite excruciating’ category. Upon further inspection I discovered that in the middle of my right collarbone there was a large lump, perhaps the size of a large walnut. It was easily visible in a mirror. Luckily I had a doctor’s appointment for vaccinations later that day, so I stuck it out for a while.

When I arrived in the doctor’s office, a nurse quickly stuck me with a needle in the opposite hand and sent me to the X-ray department. “Fractured”, the guy said. Right. Fractured. That would make sense. He sent me to a different room where a lovely smiley woman gave me a few more drugs to kill the pain and a sling. I don’t think it healed right because to this day I have a little dip in the middle of my collarbone.” (misunderstoodduck)

The Case Of Weak Knees

Credits: Knowyourmeme

“This happened a week ago.

A little bit of back story. I have very weak knees. Like they pop in and out from just walking around. In short it’s bad. So my friend invited me out to bounce (bounce is a trampoline park for those who don’t know) and i foolishly accepted. Not minutes into the building I jump over some bars in a parcore place and land on my right knee(the right hurts the most) and I heard a crack( I’ve never heard a crack before)it popped out but didn’t go back in. So I’m lying there, 5 feet above were you fall if you fall the bars. If I try to crawl to the finish I’ll get hit by the rotating bars. There are two employees telling me to roll of and I’m thinking “well what do I have to lose I probably broke my leg anyway”. So I role off and as I’m falling I try tire turn in midair so I don’t land on my knee that’s very weak. And I failed. I heard another crack and the bone popped back in. The pain was almost blackout agony. I went to the Er and was given an x-ray and MRI the next day. Turns out from that whole ordeal I fractured my knee cap with there is now a fragment in my knee and if this fragment moves the wrong way I will have to get surgery. The fracture was the crack I heard. My knee joint on the other hand had a really bad dislocation. Now I’m stuck in a locked brase until the summer of 2020. Damn it.” (overshade245)

When You Break Knife Safety Rules

Credits: Makeameme

“About a year and a half ago, I 3D printed a phone case without properly leveling the plate, which caused the bottom layers to squish outwards. This meant that the design cut into the case was partially stuck together. So I got to work cutting it with a knife.

Like an idiot, I broke two major rules of knife safety: I used a dull knife (an old box cutter) because the blade of my sharper knife was too thick to separate the thin cutout without cracking the plastic, and I cut towards my hand. I think you can see where this is going: the knife slipped while I was applying force to it, and it sliced right down the back of my left middle finger. It was pretty deep, about 5mm at its deepest point. It went over the tendon, but I was lucky because that part was shallow enough not to damage it.

I still have a visible scar a year and a half later, but I luckily didn’t suffer any permanent damage to my finger. I also still have the phone case, though it’s mostly superglue now.

Edit: Grammar. Also I realized I got the year wrong.” (robots914)

Arm Crushed By An Electric Window

Credits: Memegenerator

Broken Toes And A Burned Quesadilla

Credits: Quickmeme

 Happened a couple days ago. Got home from work really hungry. Decided to try a turkey quesadilla, with all the leftover turkey at my house. Popped that bad boy in the toaster oven and went upstairs to change out of my work clothes. I hear the ding from the oven and dart down the stairs doing a silly jumping run thing (because I am an adult child). I missed a step and ended up coming down full weight on a couple of toes on my right foot.

So now I have two broken toes and a burnt quesadilla.” (lascanto)

Why You Should Never Miss Breakfast

Credits: Imgflip

“Story time!

So it was my 2nd year of High School, which puts me at around 12/13 years old. I had skipped breakfast this morning because I was running late, and I was a hungry boy. So when the morning interval comes, I, like so many of my peers, head towards the cafeteria.

I wanted to beat the queue, so I was running. The corridor that lead to the cafeteria was a wide, sort of common area, with lockers and vending machines at either wall, so if was a busy place. Worse yet, there were some older students set up at a table, selling some kind of raffle ticket. The universe did not want me to get my breakfast, as the queue for these tickets was long enough to block my entire path.

But I was not to be deterred. Improvise, adapt, overcome, they say. I noticed that there was a small gap between the girl in charge of the table, and the wall behind her. In my hunger-addled, chubby little Scottish 12 year old mind, this was an invitation, an open gate through which I could pass and enter the realms of breakfast Valhalla.

As I approached, however, the girl leaned forward over the desk, and her leg raises up behind her, effectively blocking my path. In my greatest “To hell with you, universe!” moment to date, I believed, with complete confidence, that I could make it through the gap by simply jumping over her leg.

Oh, how wrong I was. As I leapt, believing in my heart that I could soar through the air like a majestic eagle, my foot caught her leg. I felt a sharp change in my trajectory as I now began my rapid ascent towards the cold hard ground.

And yet, I was so close to victory. I could smell the tantalizing air from the cafeteria, and I gained a surge of confidence. The jump may not have worked, but there was nothing stopping me from recovering this blunder, moments from disaster. I simply needed to reach out, catch myself on the floor, and use my momentum to roll! From the roll, it would be a matter of standing up, recovering my balance, and making my way to the halls of deliciousness while my peers applauded.

My left arm was on-board with this new approach. My right arm did not get the memo. So when I struck the ground, my left arm took the full weight of my body, and the bones therein cleanly snapped halfway between my wrist and my elbow.

The rest of my body came crashing down, and I hit the ground hard, sliding a good five feet from my landing site on the polished ground.

I never did end up getting my breakfast. But I did get my first, and only, broken bones. In the ambulance, I was able to see that my hand had turned almost all the way around to face me, and the doctor said it was perhaps the cleanest break he had ever seen.” (O62Skyshard)

Shaving Gone Very Wrong

Credits: Quickmeme

“Shaving. I wanted to hurry, the blade slipped and I shaved off about 7cm long piece of skin near my ankle. I bled like a LOT, but mostly I was annoyed that I have to clean up the bathroom that started looking like a murder scene gone wrong. My scar isn’t particularly visible, just a faint raised line near the edge of the original injury, but now hair doesn’t grow there and I don’t have to shave there anymore. A win?

My dad has a stupider injury, though. He was biking home, when he dropped some papers. He stopped, and instead of getting off the bicycle, he leaned down to reach the paper, then promptly fell over. He broke his nose (it was never reset, and is now crooked), has a huge scar on his nose and forehead. I actually came home not much later after this incident, and I noticed the trail of blood coming from the front door to the bathroom and my first thought was “did someone die?”. Nope, just dad coming home, instead of going to the hospital.” (Theystolemyname2)

You Don’t Go Clubbing When You Don’t Feel Like It

Credits: Pinterest

“I was in a club around two years ago, didn’t even want to go out, wanted to stay at home as I was a little hungover from the previous night, but my gf wanted to go out on the lash, so we compromised and went out on the lash.

Band was playing, pretty good band, had a few beers, was starting to feel good: D “hey, maybe going out wasn’t such a bad idea” whack “the hell was that” I turn around, some oi skinhead dude just punched me in the back of the head and is leaning back with his fist ready for another blow. I put my hands up as if to say what the hell dude?….. nope, he swings I duck my head out of the way but my hands are still up. He punched the side of my pinkie finger and snaps it. Bouncers take him out and get him gone from the club. I go to the hospital with a spiral fracture from the top to the bottom of my pinkie finger.

I’m a self-employed tattoo artist and quite like the use of my hands and pinkie is kind of important. I was supposed to be out of work for 8 weeks due to not being able to pull a glove over the giant cast going from my fingers to my lower wrist managed to get some extra-large gloves that made my hand look like a giant stump after 6 weeks of pure boredom not working.

Now the middle joint of my pinkie is fused due to how complex the brake was to pin together.

All because some idiot just decided to punch me for no reason, I wish I’d have just stayed home.” (jtattet)

When Pointy Branches Poke You In The Eye

Credits: Quickmeme

“This must have been when I was about 13-14, I was at a campsite and we were walking through a wooded area with some bushes that had been cut back a few weeks prior, but the branches weren’t cut straight down, they were more of an arrow shape but pointing out.

I was walking through and someone said something to me, I turned back and replied and the second I turned around I managed to walk straight into one of these branches, but it hit me right at the top of my left cheek and literally a few millimeters from going into my eye socket, and left a little chunk of the branch stuck in this cut just underneath my eye. I managed to dig it out and had to go to the hospital to get it sealed up with that glue stuff for cuts, the really sad part is I couldn’t go on the water slide that was set up in the next field over, or go swimming 🙁 Good thing is I didn’t impale my eye on a stick haha.

I put it down to the lack of depth perception with my lazy eye. That or I’m a turbo mong lol.

Edit: fixed a line.” (motor-shark)

Drunk Marine Gets 22 Stitches

Credits: Imgflip

“When I was in the Royal Marines the ship I was on docked in Gibraltar.

The second night there I returned to the dockyard very drunk. I saw the ship on the opposite side of the docks across about 100yds of water.

Drunk me thought it would be funny to swim across so I headed for the edge of the dock and dived in. What I didn’t/couldn’t see was that the area next to the dock wasn’t open water but was a painter’s pontoon (a floating flat platform for painting the sides of ships). Approximately 10ft fall followed by hitting the pontoon left me with a broken arm and 22 stitches in 2 wounds.

What hurt more was the abuse from my fellow Royals. Ouch. Still makes me cringe years later. What a knob head.” (usuallyunconvinced)

You Always Listen To Your Parents

Credits: Quickmeme

“We had a plastic laundry hamper when I was really little, like 5 or 6. For some reason I always wanted to sit on top of it, but I was getting too big for the lid to support my weight. Was told repeatedly not to sit on the hamper, so naturally I interpreted that as “don’t sit on the hamper… in front of mom and dad”. Eventually I fell through – the lid gave way and I fell into the hamper, and kneed myself so hard in the face that I broke my nose. When my parents took me to the doctor, he spoke to me alone and asked if my parents had hurt me, since my story sounded so ridiculous. This did not, as my parents hoped, teach me to listen better. It did leave me with a severely deviated septum.

Years later, I was sliding on the wood floor in my socks, after my mom specifically told me not to (4th grade). Broke my left radius and ulna. I never slide around on slippery surfaces like that anymore (or sit on hampers), but I still never quite learned to listen to my parents even after that. Sorry mom and dad.” (tragiccity)

When Riding A Bike Out In The Storm Proved Fatal

Credits: Imgflip

“When I was around 9 we had a tornado in my town and I decided that I would like to get a look at it so I made my way outside while my parents were watching the news. I got on my bike and went for a ride.

The wind was insane and I remember thinking, “Where is this thing?” before a branch was blown off a tree smacking me in the back of the head and knocking me off my bike onto some sharp rocks which cut a fairly deep slash into my right arm. Now bleeding and with a headache I walk my bike back to my house and have to explain what the hell happened with tears running down my face.

My grandmother that was a nurse had me explain while she was trying to stop the bleeding and when I was finished she looked at me with dead eyes and said, “You’re an idiot.” After the storm she took me to the hospital where the doctor put steri strips on the wound and told me that maybe I shouldn’t ride my bike while it is storming anymore.

Miss you Grandma.” (Barnithus)

When Twin Brother Hurt His Nose

Credits: Quickmeme

“This isn’t me, but my twin, so it still counts.

We had taken a walk to our childhood park from our mother’s house, and decided to stick around on the playground for nostalgia’s sake.

My doppelganger was on the monkey bars, holding two bars at his sides so that most of his body was above the monkey bars. He then had the bold idea to release the bars, and fall neatly through the square space between the bars. Turns out this plan doesn’t go so well if you’re looking where you’re going.

His nose hit the bar in front of him with the full force of his own body weight, after already have fallen like three feet. His nose was obviously bleeding and he had a mild concussion on the walk back to the house, freaking out that he couldn’t remember certain obvious things.

His sniffer remains a testament to his epic failure, being marginally more nordic than mine.” (autumngust)

When A Knife Cut Didn’t Act As Hindrance

Credits: Knowyourmeme

“I was bored as a kid and did as kids do, played with a knife. I was opening and closing it and wasn’t paying attention and closed it on my finger. Pretty deep cut. Needed stitches but would have had to sit out the rest of my current basketball season. So I opted to them just bandaging it up. Have a pretty big scar on my finger and won the championship that season. Worth it.” (ForteIV)

When Skating On Rocks Led To Bone Injury

Credits: Quickmeme

 “One time I was roller skating in my neighborhood. I decided to skate a mile away to this park. No phone, No friends. There was an area of pebbles that I decided to skate on. (I don’t know why I decided to skate on rocks as if that makes any sense) Well, long story short, obviously I fell. However, I fell on my wrist, bent it completely back, snapped it, and had to skate all the way home with a dangling wrist. Bone sticking out and everything.” (dangerous-dungeon)

Injury Incurred While Trying To Impress A Girl

Credits: Makeameme

“In High School after a minimum day, my friends and I were waiting for a movie to start at a nearby park. For whatever reason, I got it into my head that running and jumping off the backrest of a bench while catching my car keys in midair was super cool and maybe I could impress this girl I liked in the process.

Well like most teenagers, I was an idiot. After doing it two or three times, I slipped and my shin rammed into the backrest. This resulted in a tennis-ball-size bump on my leg.

Luckily there was no serious damage, but it was really dumb. Also didn’t get the girl. :'(“ (IamHeretoSayThis)

Apple Fight That Escalated Quickly

Credits: Quickmeme

“I think every time I hurt myself was stupid. But probably when I was a teenager having an apple fight. The apple fight escalated and I threw one of those softball sized green brain looking fruit things and my friend threw a tree branch at me. The tree branch got stuck in my leg like an inch and wouldn’t come out so I ripped it out quick and had a gash in my leg.” (caffeinecrave)

Fireman Sprained An Ankle

Credits: Makeameme

“I don’t think this is my most stupid but it’s haunted me for years with my friends.

I just finished teaching a class of volunteer firefighters the beginning of how to be a firefighter such as getting dressed, how to put on your SCBA, how to search a room, and how the gear changes your mobility when you get off the truck. Had to make sure and say always use the hand holds, always have three points of contact, blah blah blah.

So we were unloading some hoses that got frozen from another class and I decided I was too lazy to properly step off the tailboard off the truck and jumped. Right onto the frozen hoses, spraining my ankle and needing to go for X-ray’s. You get in really quick when you’re in fire gear.” (medicff)

When Parkour Led To A Serious Injury

Credits: Imgflip

“I was around 9 or 10 years old and my friends and I would like to do parkour around the school in lunch hour. I was able to jump over these 4 bar fences that were all over the place without laying a hand on them.

My friends and I go out and do are regular game of tag (which involved parkour) but this time there was a 5 bar fence that I thought was a 4 bar.

Muscle memory made me clip my foot, I go flying into the ground and my radius broke and went through my hand.

Funny thing was that because of the adrenaline I didn’t notice the pain right away. All I said was ow and held my arm, my friend came over and threw up (lol still makes me laugh to this day) looked down and then I realise oh crap.” (chunkey_nuts)

Torn Nail Hangs Out

Credits: Pinterest

“When I was like 6 or 7 I slammed my thumb in a car door pretty hard and we didn’t do anything about it besides clean it up and put a band aid on it the next day we went to the fair and I went down the slide that was at the end of the mirror maze thing and my thumb got shocked and the nail got torn half way off so we ran to the ambulance that was nearby and they said the only thing they could do was just rip it off and it hurt like hell but they couldn’t get it off so fast forward 2 days and I was helping load hay bales and my nail got caught on the rope holding the hay and ripped my nail off the rest of the way but it didn’t hurt because the nail was basically dead and just hanging there. Another stupid injury was when I was riding a bike with my friend and he swerved over and crashed into me and I fell and my right knee got cut up pretty bad on the paddle and I passed out 3 times from seeing the blood random lady drove me back to camp on her golf cart and I got patched up and never got stitches now I have a scar that looks like a coat hanger on my right knee.” (xXChromeHD2)

Playful Sword Fight At Halloween Leads To Arm Injury

Credits: Mememaker

“In high school, I hosted a Halloween party for my (now ex) boyfriend’s friends and I. My ex, for the most part, was a pretty normal dude but was a weeb and had a few weird interests. His friend group got really into Belegarth (think LARPing) and made weapons and everything to fight. Me, wanting to be a supportive gf, let his friends bring their stuff to the party. One of my exes’ friends asked to fight me and I reluctantly said okay. I knew he always went HAM so I was a little scared.

Well, my exe’s friend (we’ll call him Josh) gave me a sword and we counted to three and the battle begun. Before I could even raise my sword to block, Josh swung full force (in a crazy-straight-outta-samurai-training typa way) at me. I’m talking about a full 360 spin with all his might. However, as he swung, it just so happened that the wrapping around his sword flew off. Instead of a soft foam hitting me (which still would’ve hurt a bit), I got a full on hit of straight PVC pipe to the elbow. I instantly dropped my weapon and grabbed my arm.

My elbow (I kid you not) swelled up like a softball and went numb. I felt tingling down my arm and my whole hand was throbbing. I couldn’t even move my arm from the shock. I held back tears and thought about what I was going to do. I was terrified of telling my parents because I was pretty sure that I fractured my elbow. Instead, I decided to hide it for months. I used my left arm as little as possible and slowly I regained feeling in it. Years later I told my doctor and they told me that indeed I most likely did fracture my elbow, and by some miracle it just so happened to heal naturally in just the right places.” (todorokiseye)

When You Are A-Not-So Careful Kid

Credits: Imgur

“When I was twelve I severely sprained my ankle by tripping going up a staircase. Was on crutches for a few weeks then in therapy for a few months.

When I was 14 I developed tendinitis in my shoulder from swimming. Couldn’t finish the season and ended up in therapy for just over a year.

Then two months ago I was walking between classes and suddenly BAM! I had dislocated my kneecap and popped it right back in. Was swollen for weeks and now I need surgery in the next month or so because there’s a detached piece of cartilage floating around in there. I’m 16.” (robust_doormat)

While Trying To Copy The Cool Kid

Credits: Imgflip

“In elementary school, 5th grade I believe, my school got brand new playground equipment. It featured a set of swinging monkey bars, triangular handles attached by a chain to the top bar. One of the cool kids showed that you could stand on an elevated platform and reach down to grab the first bar, swinging from there would launch you in the air. He did it perfectly. I tried it and fell perpendicular to the ground, directly on my right arm. It hurt tremendously. I shook it off and went back to class. Next recess I avoided this new-found, scary yet fun, way to abuse playground equipment but eventually talked myself into trying it again. After all, I had to beat it. I set up and executed my flight exactly the same way as before, landing square on my right arm, breaking it.” (InvertedHourglass)

Hero To Zero Real Quick

Credits: Imgflip

“Playing kickball at school for some sort of school-wide event. Kick ball. Run to first base. Older kid tries to throw ball at me to get me out. Me: Realizes it is going between my legs, feel like badass. Take another step that’s awfully timed. Catch the ball between my front leg and back leg that is now coming forward. Trip and do half a front flip. Land on shoulder/neck area. Bruise shoulder. Have to wear sling for a couple weeks. Hero to zero real quick.” (JUrbanRL)

Got Hurt In The Leg While Chasing Bubbles

Credits: Imgflip

I tore a hole in my leg chasing bubbles when I was around 7 or 8.

I was looking up and ran right into a stake that anchoring a tree. It dug into my leg and left a pretty narly gash

Had to get it restitched twice because it kept opening back up, and it got super infected because the stake was all rusty. I’ve got one hell of a scar there now.” (bigt55555)

When You Slip On Ice

Credits: Memearsenal

Freshman year of college at a very snowy school, my friends and I were walking back from dinner across campus. The plows always made these huge snow drifts around the walkways, and I wanted to kick one of them because… reasons, I guess?

Told my friends “watch this.” Took a running start toward a snowdrift. Jumped and realized the ground was ice. My left leg shot out from underneath me at hyper speed, I tipped backwards, and the full weight of my body landed directly on my elbows. Then I dropped to my tailbone, and all of the air in my lungs whooshed out at once. Could barely breathe or stand for a solid minute or so. My friends were laughing hysterically as they helped me up.

My elbows were bright purple for almost a month, and I couldn’t bend them for a week or so after the incident. My bottom was sore for a couple weeks as well; sitting in hard college chairs was less than fun.

My friends still make fun of me for it, 4 years later.” (itssusanity)