Articles

People Share Their Online Dating Horror Stories

By Psquared - November 21, 2019

To find love is not easy, and to find love in the world of online dating, is even tougher. Appearances can be super deceptive and let’s admit it, we all like to put our best foot forward, or let’s just say, put our best profiles forward. And in all honesty, our virtual profile can be really different from the reality.

Some good looks and some similar interests, and before you even know it’s a match! But is it really?

The world must have moved forward and is still moving at a very fast pace, but one thing that remains consistent is our need to be validated. And this need ultimately gets the better of anyone while they create their exaggerated image online. 

Online dating can turn out to be one of the most adventurous things you ever do. After all, you never know if the person you’re talking to our going to meet is a psycho, stalker, drama king/queen or simply a needy lover. 

While we say that, we also believe that online dating can sometimes be really amazing. You might end up finding your soul mate or love of your life. But there are still some unlucky people who had to kiss many frogs before finding their prince charming (while some are still busy kissing the frogs). Our Redditors share their horrible experiences of online dating which really put them out of their game. 

 

 

Bondage Is Not That Fun!

Credits: make a meme

On OKCupid, Summer 2006, I met a girl in West Hollywood and we went to dinner. She turned out to be way bigger than her pictures, insanely rich, was Ozzie Osborn’s cardiologist’s daughter or some stuff like that, and had a nasty coke habit. The whole date she was doing cocaine in the bathroom and barely ate her food, and then afterwards, we went back to her place, where she visibly spiked my drink with a mickey and then asked me to tie her up, and then refusing to allow me to drive my car out of her garage, leaving me to wait in my car all night until the morning when I followed someone out. 

(snackburros)

Awkward At Its Worst

Credits: meme

Met a guy for a walk-and-talk through my favorite park. We had a nice vibe online and I had hopes we’d at least have a good time even if we weren’t attracted. He was completely bizarre. Spent a lot of time trying to get me to believe that he was some sort of psychic or wizard with magic powers, asked for a ride to the bus station from the park(I had no idea he hadn’t driven himself there) and suddenly had to pee during the 5-minute drive. Wet his pants just before getting out of the car.

(blacktara)

Just Get The Hint!

Credits: meme generator

I met up with a girl from okcupid whose photo was nothing like her in real life (in a bad way), on the date she spent about an hour telling me how she falls out with her friends all the time and generally being self obsessed and uninteresting. I felt no connection/spark and was polite but said that I didn’t want to see her again and made my excuses and left.

2 minutes after leaving she texted me saying that she had never met anyone like me and thought we had something special, I politely reply and let her know I didn’t want to see her again and she keeps texting which I ignore as she isn’t getting the message. A couple of weeks later she sends me a string of abusive messages ‘why are all guys the same’, ‘you should put on your CV that you’re a crapbag’ etc etc. All after one brief date!

(nightingale325)

Sorry For Hurting Your Feelings!

Credits: imgflip

I have had quite a lot of dates with guys go just like this. I went out with this guy and it was beyond awkward. Nothing to talk about, nothing in common, no spark or connection whatsoever. Ends with a polite hug and some generic “that was fun, bye”. I figure the date was so bad neither of us will contact, done. He posted on Facebook that he just had the best day of his life, blah blah, happiness and rainbows. So I had to go through the awkward telling him I didn’t feel it. Then there was the hateful “girls are awful” status update. How can two people perceive a date so differently?

(hotelninja)

Red Flags From The Start

Credits: memes monkey discovery engine

Here’s my story:

Six or seven years ago, I was a regular IRC chatter. I started talking to a girl there (let’s call her Jenny), and we hit it off. She had a wry, somewhat cynical sense of humor. I realized that she was maybe ten years younger than me, but since – according to her – she was over 18, meeting up shouldn’t be a problem. She lived in Florida, I live in Denmark.

So, one evening, we talk about her visiting over the summer. I go to cook dinner and when I finish eating, sign back on IRC. She tells me that she’s bought a ticket and will stay for three months. I tell her “whoa, that’s a really long time, I was thinking a couple of weeks or so”. But since she has already paid for the ticket, I feel forced to let her stay. Fortunately, many of the other people in the IRC channel where we hang out are also Danes and want her to visit them.

During the time we have known each other, she has sent photos of herself, and I’m quite surprised when she looks nothing like her photos. When I meet her at the airport, I expect to see a chubby young woman, but I was not expecting her to be 150 cm tall and just as wide (at least). I’m 180 cm and weigh about 90 kgs; I’m fairly sure she weighs more than I do.

Now, I’m not a shallow person, so I think to myself “Well, at least she has a great personality, right?”

WRONG!

Over the next two days, I find out that not only is she immature and sheltered, but apparently her whole world is made up of deceit, lies and HUGE amounts of drama. She has lied about so many things, including – and I don’t find out about this until the day before she leaves – her age. But more on this later.

She has apparently also told her parents that she is visiting her friend Cathy in Denmark, who is married to a brain surgeon. I don’t know anyone named Cathy. I am not a brain surgeon, but a photographer. If things don’t go exactly according to her plan, she will immediately start wailing and sobbing, stamping her feet and punch the walls. So when I confront her and ask her why she has been lying to her parents, she throws the mother of all hissy fits. Eventually, after two hours of coaxing, I manage to talk her down.

While I’m out, she calls my home phone 197 times, my cell phone, which is on silent, 337 times, and there are also 53 emails when I open my Outlook. These numbers are factual, not exaggerations.

This is the final straw. Next time she calls, I lose it and yell at her incoherently, tell her to never contact me again, and hang up. I block her from all avenues that I can think of where she might be able to contact me, and that, fortunately, is that.

If you’ve made it this far, I thank you. Things have gotten better for me. I’m married to a gorgeous Japanese woman – who I’ve known ever since she was an exchange student here eight years ago – and who is moving here in just about a month, and life is good.

(reapinghavoc)

So I Put My Foot Down

Credits: make a meme

There are a few stories I’d love to tell that unfortunately involve redditors, but here’s one that doesn’t.

Went on a date with a Navy boy, he seemed smart and sweet online. He picks me up in this incredibly ostentatious yellow Camaro, which I have the sneaking suspicion he borrowed as it was a stick and dude was having a helluva time driving it. We decide to go walk on the boardwalk for awhile, so he pulls into a parking garage. In his attempt to park the car, he completely sideswipes the car next to us – leaving yellow paint all across their car. He didn’t even act like anything happened, so I say, ‘Umm, I think you may have hit the car next to us.’ He gets out looks at it, then climbs back in and goes, ‘I guess we should park somewhere else’ and peels out before I could even say anything. Fast forward, the date is going poorly (as a hit and run is never a good start), and it’s miserably hot out so we decide to see a movie. It happened to be Shrek The Final Chapter- a kid’s movie. He has his feet on the seats in front of us, which is no big deal, until a dad holding his toddler daughter comes in and the only seats still open are the ones in front of us. The dad goes to sit down – Navy boy doesn’t move his feet, in fact he even moves his feet forward a bit so that he hits the dad in the head. The dad looks back at us, and then Navy boy sighs heavily, takes his feet down, looks at me and goes, ‘My feet were there first.’

After the movie he asked if I wanted to go to dinner, I said no, he drops me off (I’m surprised he didn’t drop the transmission as well…) and asks when he can see me again, he had a great time.

Married 5 years now!

Just kidding, I took a mental note of his license plates and called the parking garage. Did not see each other again.

(thirdwavefresh)

Hocus Pocus

Credits: imgflip

One guy – great guy, smart, attractive, very nice, I promise! Well, we went out for sushi and we just didn’t quite…click. Maybe we just weren’t terribly attracted to each other, or maybe, I dunno, we were just both SAPs. But, it was awkward enough that I thought the date was going to end after dinner. So, I kind of casually said after dinner that I was just going to walk to my friend’s apartment because they happened to live close. He goes, “Okay great, that sounds like fun!”, and came with me to my friend’s place. I know, I know, I should’ve clarified that I meant I was leaving, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Anyways, we end up having a few drinks at my friend’s place, and my friend and I say how we were planning to go to this bar for karaoke. Again, he assumes we meant all together (I know, I’m bad at making things clear, obviously). We go, we’re all drinking, he gets kind of plastered. He starts leaning on me and being a little too touchy for how awkward the date has been, and eventually my friend and I decide we’re going to just bounce. We all drove together, so he comes back with us. THEN, we get back to my friend’s apartment, he asks if he can use the bathroom, of course we say yes. So my friend and I are sitting in her living room, watching Hocus Pocus (because what else do you watch when you’re drunk!) and we hear him just all out hurling in the bathroom. He was in there for TWO HOURS throwing up. I kept knocking and asking if I could call him a cab, but he kept saying he was ‘fine’. Eventually, Hocus Pocus ends, and my friend (having more balls than myself) tells him he has to leave. I walk him out to the front porch, ask again if I can call him a cab, he says no, leans in as if he’s going to kiss me, seems to think better of it, and then says he hopes he can see me again soon.

Dude, I’m sorry if you’re reading because I know it was probably just a bad night! But, yeahhh, having an already awkward first date end by watching Hocus Pocus with an added puking soundtrack was not exactly the best online dating experience ever…

(thirdwavefresh)

Spare Dates? Not Fun!

Credits: meme

Met a woman for a date, wasn’t lot of chemistry, but she worked two interesting jobs, and there was no real warning signs.

For a second date she invites me to this picnic campout thing were she didn’t know the people very well. We talk about how most of her friends are guys and most of mine are girls. She says she is bringing “crew” along. The crew turns out to be another guy and 2 dogs. I engage the guy, he is super friendly and nice, spends his time fetching things for her, playing with children. We know some of the same people.

After about 5 hours that I’m sitting alone with her, and ask, “how long have you known Tim?” “Oh, I meet him through Okcupid 3 months go, he’s going through a divorce and he’s not sure if he is going to have his kids or not, and I don’t want to date anyone with children”

(2_old_2b_clever)

Like Mother Like Daughter

Credits: washington post

A friend of mine set up an account for a presentation on the ‘successes of modern technology on the dating scene’. His final report included a great story – He met up with a girl who was using her daughter’s photos for herself, saying she was 25 online but was really 55, and said she had no ethical problems lying online as long as she told the truth while in person. To top it off, she was on her third marriage and had multiple Facebook accounts

(hp95)

What A Tragedy!

Credits: memebams

I talked to this guy online for a couple of days, when we realized we have the same favorite bar he invited me out for a drink at that bar. He was late, I started to get annoyed but when he showed up I soon learned that his photos did not do him justice. He was so incredibly hot. I immediately felt like an ugly little troll, an ugly troll that just wanted to take his pants off. He bought me a drink and we started talking, both of us had admitted to being shy but we had a great conversation anyway. After a few drinks he offered to walk me home, I knew where it was going and I was ok with it. I brought him to my room and he sat on my bed. I sat next to him and it was awkward and quiet, we were drunk but SAP still took over. He noticed my glasses on the nightstand and put them on my face. Just weird kissing, then he said, ” do you think it’s weird I wouldn’t touch you until you had your glasses on? I freaking love glasses.” He then kept making really fake sexy faces while we got undressed, and right when I decided it was too weird and that I should make him leave, he was done. He freaked out and I told him it was ok (not like he can help it, it happens) and we got dressed. He got under the covers and got really quiet and serious. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want him there. Then he started telling me about all the times he’d tried to kill himself and how much he hates his life. He told me he was just using me. Got me drunk, got me home, wouldn’t leave and now I’d have to hear him get his problems out. I tried to talk to him so he’d feel better and hopefully leave, but he just kept saying things that upset me. Finally I told him to go, and walked him to the door. He kissed me on the forehead and walked backward down my hallway staring at me until he got to the stairs.

(rhinestonemuffintop)

Copy And Paste Then Rest

Credits: meme center

There was a guy I never even actually met because I got a super creepy vibe from him, but he would send out mass texts regularly asking if I wanted to do anything that night. I could tell it was a mass text because it showed the numbers of everybody else he was texting on my iPhone. Conversation, after many ignored texts, as follows:

Him: Hey, want to do anything tonight? Me: Can you please remove me from this mass text list? I’ve never even met you. Him: This isn’t a mass text lol. Me: (Screenshot where it lists everybody else he’s texting) Him: Oh lol. You caught me. Random Stranger: Yeah we can all read this. Me: Yeah bye.

(blurptaco)

Leave Me Alone!!

Credits: imgflip

Bear with me. It gets good towards the end.

This happened a couple years ago. The receptionist at one of my clients talked/begged me into meeting her best friend who just moved to LA from Phoenix. She swore up and down we were perfect for each other. I checked out her OKC profile, chatted back and forth for a few days then talked to the mystery girl once on the phone and we decided to meet for dinner & drinks at a local bar and grill after her shift (she’s a nurse) was over on a Tuesday night. We meet. She’s an adorable, petite, dirty blond with glasses and freckles. Totally my type. I could tell she was a bit nervous. We sit down and order drinks. She downs her apple martini in less than 5 minutes, orders another and apologizes, stating she wants to loosen up a bit because she’s nervous since her friend “talked me up” so much. Which is odd since I don’t even know her friend that well at all. Fast forward a bit. She ended up having 2 martinis before the appetizers came, 2 more in between appetizers and 3 more during dinner and 1 more right before the check came.

Total martini’s had by a 5’3″ ~110lb girl in a 3 hour period: 7 Surprisingly the conversation during this period did quite well. The trouble came as we were about to leave and she decided to use the restroom before we hit the road. She fell twice on the way and once on the way back. Since she was clearly hammered, I offered to drive her home and give her some cash for a cab in the morning to pick her car up. She agreed but declined the cash. Mind you its nearing midnight and I have to get up at 5:30 for work. As we are driving toward her apartment it becomes apparent that, combined with her drunken state and the fact she’s lived in the valley for less than 2 weeks, she forgot her address AND how to get herself home. We drive around North Hollywood and Studio City for an hour trying to remember her street or any local landmarks. This fails and I’m getting tired/frustrated.

I offer to let her stay at my place. Nothing weird. She can crash on my bed and I’ll take the couch. She’s ok with this. On my way back to my place she attempts to throw up out the car window but doesn’t realize the window was never open in the first place. Vomit everywhere. Now she’s crying and apologizing like crazy. I get her to my apartment, carry her up the 3 flights of stairs and toss her on my bed. She’s out cold. I go downstairs and spend another 40 minutes cleaning out my car and finally get to sleep on my couch around 2AM. Around 4:30AM I’m awoken by a shrill scream coming from my bedroom. I run in wearing just my boxers, flip the light on. The girl pauses for a second, looks at me and screams more, backs into a corner and throws my nightstand lamp at me while yelling “Who the hell are you.” It takes a minute for me to calm her down and explain the situation and remind her of our night. It eventually all comes back to her. She starts crying and apologizing. After I calm her down some more, I give her a ride home.

During our ride home the awkward silence is only broken by her apologizing while sobbing, telling me how to get to her place, and then asking if we “hooked up.” I told her we didn’t and that I’m not the creepy type to take advantage of girls in her condition. She replied with something along the lines of “Oh. Ok. I’m not typically a lush and I’m definitely not a sloozy. I was just super nervous and didn’t know my limit last night. You seem great and I hope we can see each other again.” I ended up saying “sure” just to avoid any awkwardness, gave her an in-car hug and said goodnight.

The next day, while slothing around work in a meeting, she called. It went to voicemail. Immediately she called again.. twice… finally she left a voicemail. Said voicemail went something like this “Soooo I was thinking about what I asked you on our way home last night in regards to us hooking up. Aaaaaand I’m kind of curious as to WHY you didn’t try anything with me? Is it because you think you’re too good for me huh? Mr. Big shot LA guy? Well whatever. I’m not a sloozy and don’t sleep around but you missed a shot at some awesome love last night. So whatever.” click About half an hour later while I’m still in the meeting she calls and leaves another voicemail.. This time crying… “I’m sorry about what I said earlier.. I’m just having trouble adjusting to a new place. I’m homesick. You seem real great. Please call me back and please don’t ignore me. Please. I’m sorry.” Needless to say I didn’t call her back. Her friend, the receptionist, apologized profusely the next time I saw her. We didn’t talk much about it after that.

(trustychords)

Brag Much!

Credits: pizzabottle

Went on one date. He would not stop talking about his “gorgeous” ex-wife. Also mentioned being a lawyer, his huge house, and what a womaniser he’d been since his divorce about a million times. Was very self-absorbed and clearly just looking for hook-ups.

Texted me the next day: Him: The fun committee is meeting at my house tonight. Me: The fun committee? Him: Yeah you and me are the only members. Me: …

(blurp_taco)

Simply Run!

Credits: pinterest

Met a guy on craigslist. After talking to him on the phone for a few weeks, decided to meet up at his place for our first date. Turns out the 2nd bedroom in his apartment is a shrine to his dead grandparents. I figure since they raised him, it must be his way of remembering them, so I let it go. We date a few months and it just so happens he demands we take showers and sleep nude every night so as not to “contaminate” the bed sheets. I got out of bed for a glass of water once, and ended up getting yelled at for 30 minutes about how I brought germs from the living room into the bedroom. The whole relationship was like something out of the twilight zone. We broke up shortly after he demanded my mother sign a letter saying she will respect his wishes not to meet her and have it notarized. The scariest thing about this that he’s an NYPD officer. Not exactly who I want out there protecting the sheets streets.

(CharlieBear26)

Stop Hurtin' My Feelings, Okay?

Credits: meme generator

I’m a paraplegic and have been stood up many of times when going out on dates. They never show to the place or when I come to pick them up. One time, I even drove 250 miles to meet what seemed to be a cool chick. Pulled up, hit it off good, got some Chili’s, went back to her place and was going to watch a movie in her room on the bed. I rolled up to the bed to transfer over, and the way a person who is paralyzed has to get onto the bed, they have to reach down and grab their legs and lift them up onto the bed.

For some reason, she STARED at my legs for probably…………let’s see….probably a good 20 seconds without blinking. I tried to not really say anything or not look at her, trying to not turn an awkward situation even more awkward, but after the 20 seconds was up, I looked up at her and said….”Are you o.k.?” She didn’t even look at me, kept staring, and said “I don’t think I can do this.”

I mean, I understand what is wrong with me, that’s fine, I have to deal with that, and I tried to be the coolest guy with everything, joking about the paraplegia and all that good stuff, setting off the “I understand what happened to me and I don’t dwell on it and am moving on” vibe, but that right there…..Well…..It tore me up.

I instantly burst into tears….Couldn’t control myself. I poured waterfalls.

Sad thing was, we were on the second floor, and had to get some neighbors to help me down…..

I swear I hate being paralyzed. 

(aw_dam_its_mic)

Why So Pushy?

Credits: tenor

Well, I wouldn’t call this a “horror story” but…it was pretty ridiculous.

So, I had been talking to this guy, K, over okcupid. He seemed pretty lovely and kind of cute, despite being a massive MASSIVE hipster (clear, giant glasses and all). He lived about two hours from me and decided to take a trip to meet me. I wasn’t opposed to it.

When he got here, he looked NOTHING like his photos. He was 5’3/4 (his profile said he was 5’7). He was pudgy (his profile said he was “thin”). He had super crooked teeth. He was just…rather unattractive.

Either way, I was still willing to give him a chance. I’m not that shallow. He brought a bottle of wine (I don’t really drink a lot). We went out to lunch, which was nice enough, and then went to hang out at my apartment. I had maybe…a half a glass of wine. He finished the entire rest of the bottle (This was well before 4 PM). Next thing I know, he’s begging me to make out with him. I gave it a go for a minute before becoming really turned off and stopping. I just wasn’t feeling it.

He then started complaining that he was tired and drunk and that he wanted to sleep. I told him that he was welcome to crash on my couch for the evening. He asked if he could sleep in my bed. I said that that’d be ok and that I’d sleep on the couch, then. I guess he just really wanted to sleep with me because the next thing I know, he is yelling, throwing a total hissy fit, and storming out of my apartment to drive back to where he came from (while totally drunk).

Apparently he got home safe. I didn’t really talk to him again, though, after that incident.

(Kindnessabound)

Thanks But No Thanks

Credits: meme generator

I have far too many. I think the best would be when I guy drove by to pick me up and then texted me “I can’t go out with you. I’m too superficial” after seeing me standing outside. This was at least 6 years and 50lbs ago. So I went back inside feeling really down about it. I get another text “ok, we can hook up, but no dating or relationship stuff”. Unbelievable.

(Hotelninja)

Creepy Or Dangerous?

Credits: imgflip

I picked this girl up. She was wearing pajamas and we had a dinner date. She then goes and tells me about how she spent 2 years in juvy, is a recovering heroin addict, and how she beat the living hell out of her ex with a broomstick. Needless to say I didn’t call her back.

(Jeebusify)

 

Hands Up!

Credits: meme

Dated a guy who was arrested on our date by detectives. He tried to return a pair of fake ‘Gucci’ sunglasses. When the store clerk threatened to call police, he flashed an FBI badge to the clerk. Turns out they got him on tape flashing what actually was his brother-in-laws FBI business card. The card has an FBI hologram, about 3inches by 5 inches in size so it could pass as being legit on a glance. Did I mention he WAS the school principal for a reputable Catholic school in my area. Story made headlines and all.

(deleted)

Satan, Who Me?

Credits: tenor

Justin lived in Fullerton and it was my turn to drive to him for a date. We headed over to Dave & Busters and had a great time playing air hockey and Dance Dance Revolution. Then we decided to head back to his place to watch a movie. We’d kissed a couple times, and Justin was an excellent kisser. I was looking forward to cuddling and kissing. But first we decided to make a stop at 7-11 for some munchies. We gathered up a couple sodas and some candy and took them up to the register. “$6.66” said the cashier as I pulled out my wallet to pay. Justin gasped loudly.

“Oh. My. God.” he said. “Are those the socks with separate toes? Those really freak me out!” I looked down at my striped toe socks. How could anyone be freaked out by something so goofy? “Seriously,” he said, “I can’t handle those socks. They really, really bother me.” I just looked at him and leaned back on the bed. I was already over it. Little did I know Justin was just getting started.

“Oh my god,” he exclaimed. I could see that a light had just gone off inside his head. “I get it now. You’re a witch!! It all makes sense!!”

“Come again?” I asked.

“It allllll makes sense. Your black cat. Your love of bats. Your stripey witch socks. And you weren’t even bothered by the $6.66. Are you a witch?”

“Get real,” I said. “I’m not a fucking witch.” But I could see the guy was serious!!

“Well I think you’re a witch,” he said. “And can you please take off your socks? They’re really bothering me!”

“I’m not taking off my damn socks,” I replied. “You’re being silly”.

“I can’t help it. Those socks really freak me out. I’ll do anything for you to take them off. I’ll pay you to take them off. Any amount.”

“You’ll pay me?” I asked.

“Yes.” came his reply.

“Fine. Pay me $6.66!!” He glared at me as I packed up my stuff and left. And that was the last I ever saw of Justin.

(Mandiefavor)

I Still Love You

Credits: make a meme

When I was sixteen, a girl I knew told me to add her guy friend on MySpace. He and I would stay up all night talking on AIM and eventually decided to try a long distance relationship. He kept planning to visit and whatnot but it never happened. I soon wised up and realized the girl had made him up. She proceeded to do the same thing to another friend who refused to believe me when I told her he didn’t exist. Oh, teenagers.

(Deleted)

Guess He Is Real!

Credits: me.me

Met a girl on OkCupid and had some nice conversations online with her and she seemed really nice and cool. We scheduled a night to meet at a bar. When I show up I see a girl who looks kind of like the girl who I saw in the profile pictures. Only her hair was blonde instead of brown and she was pretty overweight. I tried to make eye contact as she was with 4 other people at a table and she ignored me. I assumed she was somebody else and continued waiting while I sapped on a beer. She finally comes over and introduces herself with a huge slur (she is totally wasted) and gets really angry at me for not approaching her to say hello (even though I didn’t know it was her because she doesn’t look like her profile pics). I’m like whatever I just want a beer… so we have a couple beers and she is getting REALLY tanked (more so than could have been caused by the beer she drank) and I found out she was sipping 151 in the bathroom with two of her girlfriends. Both of her friends were succubi as well and verbally explained how they thought I wasn’t a “real man”.

(Docius)

Dating Horrors 101

Credits: know your meme

I dated a guy from OKC that was pretty nice, funny. However he didn’t tell me he had a son until date…number 4 I think? Which was fine, I like kids. And then randomly after 4 months, he dumped me. 2 days later he was FBO with another girl. I later found out that he’d been dating the second girl all along, but she went to study abroad. I was there to fill in the space. thumbs up

(Deleted)

Mommy's Boy

Credits: banana workz

My high-school boyfriend and I broke up before college and a year or so later I half-assedly tried dating. I met two people I just felt okay about but they seemed pretty nice individuals, so why not?

Dude #1 was a religious fundamentalist and had to pray and get his mother’s permission in order to officially date me. He was 19 or 20. Turns out mommy didn’t get the green light from Jesus so it was deemed that I wasn’t the one made to marry him. As of late, he’s still single and tragically a really nice guy if he’d just let go of dogma and his clingy parents. We remained friends until I made the transition from considering myself a liberal christian, to agnostic and he sent me very condescending and nasty Facebook messages. At the end of the day I just feel bad about his situation.

(Bananaworkz)

Stalker Alert!

Credits: facebook

This one guy messaged me and seemed incredibly awesome. He was only 24, but had been an air force mechanic, had traveled the world, and was now driving a truck so that he could afford more travel. Though this may already have been a warning sign for most, I found it intriguing. We talked every night for quite a while, he would give me pretty sound advice on shop-talk etc (I was apprenticing in an auto shop at the time), would make me laugh, etc… but then one day, he said something that made the neck on my hair stand up. It was a slip of the tongue, and he didn’t even realize he had done it, but he knew my ex’s mother’s name.. a detail I had never shared. I didn’t have the class to let it slide, so I called him out on it. It turned out that he had so thoroughly stalked me, that he knew each of my previous residences, jobs, social network accounts, etc… and had even narrowed my current residence to within 6 city blocks. I freaked out. I changed my phone number, changed my OKC account, deleted and re-made my profiles, etc. Nothing ever came of it, but I was thoroughly terrified at the time.. especially when, months later, I received a new message to my new phone that said ‘We could have traveled together. You said you had nothing tying you down. I thought you were perfect.”

(Linesonmaps)

Basic Hygiene Bro!

Credits: meme arsenal

I’ve only had one experience at online dating but the guy had some serious hygiene issues. I met him and he had a strong odour of not having washed for a while. Also didn’t seem to go for dental hygiene.

I wish I could say that was the end of it but I had some serious self-esteem issues back then and decided to try and encourage him into cleaner ways. Luckily, he lived 300 miles away so I only saw him a few times. Enough to realize he wasn’t going to change and long enough to realize he was extremely clingy and jealous of male friends (including my gay friends).

(Mildlyatrokingdino)

Bad Mom Bad Person!

Credits: someecards

Well this isn’t really me, but it’s my dad. When I was in 8th grade, my dad got married to his current (second) wife. They met online and I barely saw her before the marriage. She seemed nice enough to me, and her kids were okay, nothing too out of the ordinary. She would come to some school events, buy us new games every week, stuff kids like. Then, after the marriage, she becomes a totally different person. Instead of being nice and social, I discover that she is actually an antisocial control freak. Upon moving into my house, she tried to change every rule (as a teenager, this really turned me off to her), and made sure that both me and my brother knew who was in charge. Her kids also fight every day, as they are 11 and 8. I’m talking screaming matches, violence, over petty crap, while I’m in the basement (yes, my room is in the basement, moved there after she moved in to make room for her kids). She constantly manipulates my dad to ensure that my brother and I are not treated as equally as her own children (both monetarily and attention-wish). I moved out and lived with my mom for a while, have told them both what is wrong, but nothing changes

(Saxman212)

Next Level Kitty Love

Credits: pinterest

This was a first date that a friend of mine went on. It wasn’t an online date because it took place back in the 1990s and they met via a newspaper ad.

Anyway, my friend Doreen shows up at this woman’s house and is shocked by the heaps of possessions stacked up everywhere. Her date turns out to be skinny and extremely hyper and Doreen couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

Being sporty outdoorsy gays, they decide to go rowing on the nearby lake. Here’s where it really gets weird: Ms. Wacko insists on bringing her pet cat with them in the rowboat. Apparently she went nowhere without dragging along this poor kitty.

So Dor made her escape as quickly as possible. Some time later she met J, the love of her life, and they are together to this day.

One day when they were comparing horror stories about their past first dates, J said, “You wouldn’t believe this date I had. She insisted on bringing her cat!”

(AMerrikanGirl)

That's Pure Evil!

Credits: vulgur baby

My uncle’s wife who he met on the internet yells a lot and have other people take care of her baby so she can watch Korean dramas and thinks her son is evil because he’s left handed. she also made him give away his cat (who he had been the owner of for 8 years) because she says they’re evil. that crossed the line :/

(Kentamari)

Forgot What I Was Saying

Credits: hollywoodmemes

Met a girl on some dating site or another. We chatted back and forth for a while- I lived in Flint, Michigan, while she lived a little ways away, just over the Ohio state line. We decided to meet up one day. She shows up half an hour late, I get in her car. (I was living with my dad at this time, unemployed and broke as shit.) She informs me she hasn’t slept in two days and is dead tired, and that she can’t be up here for too long. We decide to just go to dinner and then call it good- she knows I’m broke but is willing to pay, which I think is pretty cool. We get into the restaurant, order our drinks, and she gets a phone call. It’s her mother, and she needs her to babysit. Like, right now. We leave the restaurant, having not even touched our drinks. She ends up driving me back home and then having to go back home- we spent maybe ten minutes together, tops. The next day, she IMs me, asking if we’d met up yesterday. Thinking she’s joking, I say yes, and give a recap of the day. Said she didn’t remember it because she was so high on one drug or another that she’d apparently forgotten about it. We never did talk again. I never even got dinner out of it.

(DarcDiscordia)