People Reveal Their Best Anesthesia Waking Stories
The first impression of hospitals, in all honesty, is very gloomy. In fact, if given a chance, one would never want to visit hospitals in their lives (and we hope they don’t in any adverse situations). But, on the flip side, hospitals can be fun too! Do not believe us? Our Redditors have shared some really interesting ‘anesthesia’ experiences.
Anesthesia is the state where a person is numb to any sensation. Though, it is used for medical purposes, but its repercussions can sometimes be really… amusing. So, without wasting another second, read these super fun experiences below –
Surely The Best Thing He Will See Today
I came out of anesthesia in a hospital dress. For some reason I decided I couldn’t breathe, the dress was too tight, and needed more air. I unlaced the front of it and let my junk hang out. I sighed happily and stared into the distance, gently drooling. A nurse happened to walk by a minute later and offered to kindly adjust me after she saw an old man, who was about to go into surgery, gawking at me. I looked at her and slurred “Sss’okay, prolly the besst thing he wool seeee todeh.” She chuckled and fixed me up anyway.
You Saw Mine, Now Lets See Yours
Apparently after shoulder surgery I was coming out of my drug induced coma, the nurse went to shift my blankets. My hospital gown must have moved and uncovered my junk. She just smile and moved the blankets back over me.
Apparently I looked at her I said “You saw mine, now lets see yours!”
Now, I don’t remember any of this. I had to hear about it from my wife, who was sitting in the chair next to the bed.
Err.. What Transplant Was That Anyway?
For me, a few stand outs.
Before you are put under anesthesia, we often administer a small dose of a sedative to decrease your anxiety. Also, when we get to the operating room, we always confirm what procedure is being done, and the patient often participates in the discussion.
One of my patients was having a small orthopedic procedure, but when asked to confirm this, he continuously insisted that he was having a pee-pee transplant.
Another time, after I woke the patient at the end of his procedure, he immediately demanded a hug from me (like as we are still on the table in the operating room).
Medical student. On attachment with a stomach specialist (gastroenterologist) couple of years ago.
Let me set the stage: 13 year old kid in for a colonoscopy cause he’s been having diarrhea and some blood. My friend (girl, relevant later) and I join in to watch.
Trying to reassure the kid, the doctor tries to tell him it’s fine. He brings up the fact that the kid is a fan of WW2 documentaries and says the father told the doc that the child spends lots of time on the computer reading up on WW2 (I’m convinced otherwise). But nevertheless, kid calms slightly, and agrees to lie on his side and “open wide”.
So we begin. The kid is sedated, becomes drowsy, then IN WE GO! What I see on screen can only be compared to the scene in SW Ep4 when they come out of hyperspace in the remains of Alderaan. The child, writhing in pain, starts mumbling. My friend and I swear he said Lufte-something and other strange words. And then, as my friend goes to comfort him, he screams “DON’T TOUCH ME”. I’m in no state to help, biting on my fist to stop laughing.
It takes about 10-20 minutes and we’re done. As we wheel the kid out, he raises his left arm, and say “Heil Hitler” before going back to sleep.
Edit:Forgot to mention. I usually refer to this as “The boy who cried Hitler”
Let's Do The Safety Dance
I sang the Safety Dance song over and over and over and over while coming to post breast surgery. Didn’t even know I knew the Safety Dance at the time.
Then when my brother picked me up after, I was still singing it and trying to flash half the hospital.
I Wanna Love You
This happened about 15 years ago. I was putting a young guy (early 20s) to sleep for surgery. He was pretty rough around the edges. Obviously had lived a hard life; smoker, drugs, alcohol. Just as he’s about to go out he looks me dead in the eyes and slurs “I wanna love you.” Now I’ve had plenty of women get flirty after a little sedation, but this is the only time I’ve been propositioned in an aggressive, force-y fashion.
I left him in the recovery room and never saw him again.
Oh No It's A Duck
Not disturbing but silly. Me as a patient.
Husband told me that during my emergency c-section for my firstborn I was really out of it (27hrs of labor) and as my child made her first cries I started crying and said “Oh no it’s a duck.” and the whole ER busted out laughing and reassured me I had a baby, not a duck.
Hold Your Tongue
My personal story, I got all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out. When I started to come to my whole mouth was numb and puffy. I don’t remember if it was me or an assistant but when the gauze came out of my mouth completely red from blood, I freaked out. Not because it was bloody, but because I thought it was my tongue! I don’t know if I thought I bit it off or they cut it out, but I was CONVINCED that it was my tongue.
Clearly I was still out of it and I’m happy to have my tongue still.
My Name Is Satan And I Am Going To KILL You All!
We had a normal twenty something guy we were taking back for a routine day surgery procedure. We start hooking all the monitors up, give him some oxygen, and start giving him some feel good meds before we go all the way off to sleep. He starts laughing maniacally and in a deep crazy voice says “my name is Satan and I am going to kill you all!!” And then starts laughing some more. We couldn’t get that guy off to sleep fast enough. Woke up as a normal guy too. Weird as hell.
Lucky Day Lucky Boy!
My wife works GI (colonoscopies), actually just shared this one with me yesterday.
Guy comes in and is about to go under. Everyone that works in my wife’s clinic is female. Right before the dude goes under he says “To think, some people pay big money to get three pretty ladies to do this…here I am getting it for free. Today must be my lucky day.”
Someone Needs More Benzos
I also woke up partway through both of my wisdom tooth removals (I got the top two removed one at a time) under twilight sedation.
The first time, I remember waking up and feeling them tugging in my mouth. One of my worst fears is waking up during surgery but still being paralyzed, so I started making sad crying noises to let them know I was conscious. The nurse said “Looks like someone needs more benzos!” and I was back out.
The second time, I woke up again. I started telling them I was awake and could feel everything. Turns out they were done and I was supposed to be awake.
Bowel In The Court
Med student here. We had a patient who had just been sedated for a colonoscopy, and the Anesthetist was helping roll the patient onto their side. Before getting a colonoscopy you need to get ‘bowel prepped’ where you take some drinks and it gives you horrible diarrhea to help clean out the pipes. So it’s not unusual for patients to have a bit of leftover poop around their butts which occasionally flick onto the theater staff as they try to roll or preposition the patient around on the bed.
This guy, on the other hand, lets out a massive shart and completely covers our Anesthetist – who wasn’t wearing a face mask either.
His colonoscopy report? “Completely inadequate bowel prep.”
Bad Sense Of Humor
My dad shattered his L2 (lower part of his spine) a decade ago. In surgery, they sawed off a part of one of his ribs, crushed it up, put it in some sort of wire mesh and built a new L2 for him. The whole procedure was extremely invasive, so he was out for a pretty long time.
I drove 400 miles and arrived at the hospital just as he was going back into ICU. The anesthetic hasn’t fully worn off at that point. He had apparently answered the nurses questions satisfactorily, but wasn’t responding much to us. Finally, my mother asked him “Is there anything you need? He finally opened one eye and grunted out “Waaaatttteeerrr”. She immediately went for her bottle of water, then he said “No. Nooo. I want beeeeerrr”
So the nurses are freaking out for two reasons: He can’t have water because he’s laying in some sort of contraption that keeps his back straight (plus he’s already taking in fluids via IV), and now they think he’s an alcoholic and are demanding to know when his last drink was, how much he drinks per day, etc. He was just kidding around. It took quite a bit of explaining to convince them that he wasn’t an alcoholic.
I can only imagine how freaked out the nursing staff was – someone who just got sawed in half who, at that point may or may not be paralyzed, who is now possibly an alcoholic about to go into DTs. The good news is, aside from some fairly severe persistent nerve damage, with many months of PT my dad learned to walk again and went back to work in under 6 months. Also, no DTs obviously. The nursing staff quickly caught on to his sense of humor.
4995... 4995... 4995..
When I was a resident, one of the anesthesia attending would always say to the patient as he would begin sedation, “Now I want you to count backwards from 5000.” Some would start and as per usual not get very far at all. However, one gentleman started “5000, 4999, 4998, 4997, 4996, 4995…4995, 4995…” He kept repeating and repeating. This anesthesia was only twilight so after 15 minutes of 4995 and eyes all over the OR begging for it to stop, the anesthesiologist says, “Welllll, that’s enough of that!” Then, you hear the patient snoring and well a collective sigh of relief from all present.
I Want What I Want. Don't Judge Me
I had a pretty funny one when in residency. Was at a very well-known children’s hospital, one of the top 3 in the country, doing an elective month on top of the usual rotation. Went to see pt in pre-op, she was 17, and very uptight. Made it clear from the get-go that she was a valedictorian, ahead of her peers academically, and was pretty bossy. I thought to myself, damn, “what an arrogant little chick”. She was to have a procedure which for the anesthesia required was sedation with some local analgesia.
Patients, and I guess everyone, have various means to deal with stress in an acute situation, esp when they are looking at the relinquishment of control that being subject to anesthesia entails. So, when I brought her back to the OR, she couldn’t stop talking about her academic achievements, how far ahead she was from her peers, etc. She already has started receiving medication by now, and is getting quite chatty, in a very self-aggrandizing way. We get her on the OR table, and after monitors in place, draping, etc, she is laying it on pretty thick. I could care less, whatever helps her get through the op, she is, after all, a 17yo in a scary situation. Then the following dialog happens: “I’m graduating early, you know. Still going to be valedictorian.” me: “Ok, that’s a big accomplishment, congratulations!” “I’m going to travel. Travel to New Zealand.” me: “That’s great, I know a few people who have been there, they did a,b,c.”
(About now the procedure is about to start and they are about to inject the local, so I deepen the plane of anesthesia. )
“Just can’t wait to travel. . . you know how much pressure I’m under? cant wait ’til I can get away from everyone who knows me and I can do what I want. . . because everyone loves a girl with a big set of tats.”
The whole room just pauses and looks at each other over the drapes, like “did I just hear that?” looks on their faces.
And she goes on: “Because I’ve got a big set of tats, you know? And there are a lot of cute guys in New Zealand. And I’m going to get with a lot of them. No one there knows me, I can do whatever I want. AND I’ll come back for graduation like nothing happened.”
By this point, I’m pushing more propofol in, and she’s drifting deeper. I’m barely able to contain my laughter, and the surgeon is laughing his ass off behind the drapes. She does however, have one last gem before she does.
“I want what I want. Don’t judge me”
Hands down the funniest patient story I have ever experienced.
Oompa Loompa Style!
I was the patient for this. I had my wisdom teeth taken out over the summer and was knocked out initially by gas as I have a terrible phobia of needles and injections. The doctor who knocked me out came and found me later in recovery and told me that I had fallen asleep laughing then a few seconds later muttered “it’s just like the Oompa Loompa song” I have no recollection of this and only remember being wheeled into the theatre for the operation.
Anesthesiologist came in to knock me out before I went into quasi-emergency surgery. I was kind of out of it because I had been up for like 24 hours straight with pain and was extremely scared of surgery, and my default response to stress is humor. So the anesthesiologist pulls over his machine and I say, “oh, is that the machine that goes ‘ping’?” He gave me this confused look as he started injecting the anesthesia into my IV, said ‘no’ and then started to walk away because he just gave me the knock out drugs and I should have gone to sleep.
He underestimated me. I proceeded to tell him, for about five minutes straight, about the machine that goes ‘ping’ and then the generalized plot of Monty Python’s Meaning of Life, finished up my little speech, told him that I felt tired, and then passed out. Surgery was a success and when I woke up I asked my mom, “Did I really tell the man about the machine that goes ‘ping’?” and she started laughing at me because she was looking at his face and watching him become more and more frightened of the fact that I was still awake.
All Or Nothing
I’ve been under so many times I’m sort of tolerant. For a broken ankle I got propanol and fentanyl while they set it. I remember waving my hands around watching them and when the nurse gently told me to put my hands down I politely said ‘buzz off’. I also had the same combo before ankle surgery and was wheeled into the operating room in the bed while I was sitting up talking about how ‘Michael Jackson was on this stuff before he died and it was awesome’. It took me ages to go under that time I kept wanting to talk and sit up and they kept trying to get me to lie down. Eventually one doctor looked over at who I assume was the anesthetist and said ‘give her all of it’ and I don’t remember anything after that.
Stop! I'm Homophobic! I'm Homophobic!
I work in surgery, but not a doc. A patient was waking up violently so my coworker, who is a guy, was holding them down so they don’t fall off the narrow table. The patient starts yelling, “Stop! Get off me! Stop! I’m homophobic! I’m homophobic!”. It was hilarious at my coworkers expense. Obviously the patient meant claustrophobic…or did they?…
Master Mind At Work
Not an anesthesiologist, but I do have a story to tell. Had just taken my father to have a colonoscopy. The nurse calls us back to his room to pick him up, and he’s completely out of it. The only thing he knows is that he’s hungry. The doctor tells us it’s okay, and we take him to the cafeteria. Keep in mind that my father is currently in a wheelchair, it’s both important to the story and about to be hilarious. We get our food, sit down, and my father eats about half of his. The next thing we know, my father is scooting himself and his wheelchair across the floor with tiny steps. We asked where he was going, and he said one word: “Home.” Then he explained his master plan –
He was going to wheel himself out into the parking lot, hook his feet under somebody’s bumper, and let them tow him home. I’m not sure how he was going to find his way home when he barely knew where he was at the time. Homing pigeon instincts, maybe?
Stories Up My Sleeves
So I am an anesthesiologist.
I have a technique where I keep on talking or asking questions for the twenty seconds between when the anesthesia is given and when it works so that the discomfort of the medications is less apparent. The speed doesn’t allow for a lot of conversation.
Some random memories:
“Please make sure I wake up”
“It burns, it freaking burns!”
“I want an ‘American’ doctor.”
“I wish I was 50 years younger and I’d show you a good time”
Unrelated, but lots of random tattoos
Unicorn sodomizing a baby.
Pinocchio with the patient’s junk as a nose.
Lots of incorrect Chinese characters.
Lots of Nazi, gang, prison, Hell’s Angels b.s.
Mine was a bit different. Years ago I was a patient set to have my shoulder reconstructed (torn labrum.) I’ve had a dozen surgeries in my life and know what to expect. Usually they give me the anesthetic and have me count down from 10, I’m always out by the time I get to 7. Not this time. I could feel the drugs in me like a weird buzz, but it didn’t put me out. I counted down to zero, then continued to negative 10. Then I asked why I’m still awake and if I needed to count differently for the drugs to work. So I counted to 210 going by multiples of 7 (7, 14, 21, etc.) While the drugs turned me into some kind of counting savant, the anesthesiologist had this dumbfounded look on his face while he checked everything to see what happened and why I wasn’t asleep. He didn’t know, so they aborted the surgery.
The explanation I was given was that someone had broken into where the drugs were stored and had stolen a bunch of them. What made it hard for the hospital to realize the theft had occurred was that the thief didn’t take any of the vials. They basically did what teenagers do when they raid their parents liquor cabinet, empty half and refill it with something else so it looked full. They even re-glued boxes so they’d look like new packaging. Not sure if they ever caught the thief, but it caused the hospital to stop all surgeries for hours while they waited for new drugs to come in from their sister hospital. Luckily no one was hurt, I just got a weird buzz/high off of it and that was gone after a couple hours.
McHottie Or McDreamy?
As a pt: Getting prepped to have my wisdom teeth removed and the doctor that was performing the surgery came in to the procedure room to introduce himself. He was VERY good looking. Now, I am a happily married, attractive woman but this doctor was the kind of attractive that made me feel embarrassed to be near him. I had been making small talk with the assistant, who was very pleasant. She had me counting down from ten while I was going under and I remember drowsily whispering to her to make sure the Dr didn’t look up my nose. I guess that’s where I felt most insecure with Dr mchottie about to be so close to my face. She must have mentioned something to my husband, because when I came to, he had a camera in my face and a big goofy grin on his.
The Invisible Anesthesia
When I was 17 I had my tonsils taken out. The anesthesiologist came in and told me she’d give me drugs that would put me out enough to not remember, but I would still be able to put myself on the operating table. Well they wheel me back and I’m thinking, “wait, she said I wouldn’t remember this.” The staff is helping me get onto the table, and they’re acting cautious, like I could fall. Finally I realize they think I’m drugged and I’m not. I say, “Um, I’m totally conscious.” The anesthesiologist says, and I kid you not, “oh shit!” And shoots the most painful ice cold meds into my IV. It hurt so freaking bad, I let out half a scream but was out before I could say anything.
That Escalated Quickly
Not me, but my dad’s second wife. She was an anesthesiologist, and after putting the guy under (but awake, obviously) he ended up blurting out that he had a woman locked up in a shack behind his house. They called the cops and kept him talking, I guess it was some dungeon. The cops went to his place and found the girl in the shack beaten and chained to the wall. He was immediately arrested. Apparently he said he was going to kill her later that day or something.
Why So Extraaaaaaaaaa?
I was 16 and on Spring Break I had that wonderful coming of age one-two punch of getting my driver’s license on Monday and getting my wisdom teeth removed on Tuesday.
As we climbed into the car in the parking lot of the oral surgeon’s office, I groggily turned to my mom and slurred out, “Hey mom, do you need me to drive us hoooooome?” She said I specifically drew out that last word extra long, while staring at her dully and wobbling in my seat.
She gracefully refused.
I was patient. I had horrible adult acne before, and it was getting so much better. One of the advises I followed was not to touch your face with dirty hands. As I was waking up, I warned everyone (probably same people multiple times) with way too loud voice “don’t touch my face or you die!”. I think at one point nurse was touching my shoulder and I also screamed that. Also told my nurse to “tie my hair or else it’s game over, bitch.” I was so embarrassed later and apologized. Thank god my nurse did understand. Another time I had my wisdom teeth removed. I called my crush and asked if its appropriate to bring wine to our dinner. We had no dinner planned , and I barely knew him. Awkward later..
Where are My Flip-flops?
When I got my wisdom teeth removed, I was recovering from the anesthesia and one of the nurses was talking to me about how my oral contraceptive wouldn’t work while taking the antibiotics I was prescribed. I shushed her mid sentence and told her it was okay because I wasn’t getting any action. My mom was relieved, as she took great joy in telling me what I said.
But what really got me was the fact that I was wearing flipflops to surgery. When I was waking up, I didn’t have them on anymore and I couldn’t find them. I kept asking my mom where my flipflops were and I was close to tears because I wanted my damn flipflops. She was holding them and trying to get me to sit up so she could help me put them on and I took them from her and told her I could do it myself. Proceeded to put them on the wrong feet.
Heading to the car, my oral surgeon helped my mom get me buckled in and was telling her how to take care of me until I was back to normal and I asked him if he was coming home with us.
Wisdom teeth are a fun time
I Am Jesus
Obligatory not a surgeon… etc, etc. Anyways, my one part of my family has a really bad reaction to anesthetic, and tend to wake up delirious. The worst time was when an uncle woke up sure that he was Jesus Christ, and refused to let his wife, the Antichrist, stay in the room.
It was kinda sad, because he was completely serious about it.
Why Would You Do That??
Two stories; Once heard a young anesthesiologist tell a patient, right before the gas set in, “by the way, there is a small chance that you wont survive”
I have personally more than a few times been propositioned by patients of both sexes, as mentioned so often, morphine is a hell of a drug 😀
What Happens In ER Stays In ER
I was the patient in this story, but it kind of unnerved me when I found out what had happened. So I went in to have one of my wisdom teeth removed, the other three had been taken out by my dentist with Novocaine (Individually, with my luck.) I guess the last one my regular dentist wouldn’t remove without an oral surgeon. So as the story goes, I showed up to my appointment at three o’clock, and you can’t eat or drink for like, twelve hours or so before the surgery. I was waiting for two hours, went outside and smoked a cigarette, came in, and had a sip of water because my mouth was burning. The nurse at the desk flips out, says I need to reschedule my surgery, and take another day off of work. I was 19, but I still had a hard time getting the time off. I proceed to flip the hell out and ask her if she’s going to pay for me to take another day off from work and then the doctor comes in and asks me what’s going on. I explain that I had one sip of water and he says we can go on with surgery as planned. I remember coming to once he actually pulled the tooth, albeit hazy. I ask him if I said anything while I was under and his words to me were: “Never go out drinking with someone else. I won’t tell you what you said but I’ll leave it at that.”
Which scared the hell out of me ’cause I have no idea what kind of secrets I laid upon this man.
Then I was yelling at the nurses at the desk saying; “Tell that black nurse I’m sorry for being so bad! Tell her exactly that in those words!”
And then I left and smoked another cigarette and eventually got a dry clot, so that was fun.
Stop Crying You Damn Brat
Obligatory not a doctor… Having eye surgery being put under… I’m panicking as the doctors pressured my parents into not telling me I was having surgery. I’m screaming and crying and struggling calling for help when the anesthesiologist hisses in my ear: “Stop crying you damn brat.”
Before I passed out I heard my mom tell her to shut the hell up. Love you mom. (Mom was against not telling me. Dad sided with the doctors)
So we’re in the OR and the scrub tech is egging this girl on because she clearly falls in the latter category. She’s making jokes about how she “has been known to throw a glass at the bar” and has to “be super careful or she’ll talk about what she did in Vegas”. Of course the scrub tech is just giggling a little and saying things like, “Oh? Do tell!”
So it’s my job to prep, which essentially means using a clean soap on the chest. The surgeon wants to get the case moving so she (I was the only guy in the room, if it hasn’t been made clear yet) tells me to start prepping while the anesthesiologist knocks her out. Around this time I hear the patient in that sort of ‘I don’t know how loud I am even though I’m trying not to be loud’ voice say, “Is he a doctor? He’s cute! Is he married?” The scrub tech, of course, tells her my intimate social details including the fact that it’s my birthday.
I gather my supplies, walk to her and explain that I’m going to be using a special soap to clean her before the surgery and the anesthesiologist is going to have her fall asleep.
The nurse shimmies her gown down. The patient looks at me, looks at down at her, and with a smile says, “Happy freakin’ birthday.”
Future Dinner With Future Hubby
I know the post is for “disturbing thing(s), but I love this memory of mine!
My best friend had just woke up from hand surgery and his Dad was going back to see him. I was really close to their family so I was invited back as well. While we are there with him the nurse was going over his discharge orders. My friend seemed really attentive and alert, basically just acting normal. The nurse then left to go print a copy for us and when she got back he says “Oh hi! I don’t think we have met yet, I’m (name)!” In a very enthusiastic voice.
I immediately lost it and he had no idea why, it was amazing!
After all that he left with his Dad. Later, he told me he was not really aware of anything till about an hour later. He came back to his senses in the middle of a grocery store with a basket full of soft foods and reader glasses.
Karma Is A ....
My Father in law, who always like to throw jabs my way. Usually weight related because he like his women anorexic. He asked me if I was pregnant when coming out of sedation. Nope just a hoodie.
I got to get him back though when I told him his nurse called him a cheap date after he passed out on less than half the normal dose.
Promise Me I Won't Die
My dad had a pretty funny (not so much disturbing) story of some biker who was like 6’5″ all tatted up, all pieced looked tough as hell who came in after being grazed by a bullet and spraining his wrist.
He was crying for my dad to save him and not let him die, he kept pleading “don’t let me die, doc, don’t let me die!! I promise I won’t see her again just don’t let me die doc promise me I won’t die!”