Doctors Share When The Child Was Obviously “Not The Father’s”
The joy of becoming a parent is probably one of the purest form of joy one can ever experience. The process, from trying to have a baby to conceiving and finally delivering, is maybe a little tiresome but as most parents would agree, totally worth it!! After all, the first time you hold your baby, you get this out of the world feeling which makes all the pain endured seem like nothing. Also you can’t even explain how it feels when your baby grabs your finger (with those tiny fingers of his/her) for the first time. OH MY GOD!!!
However, have you ever wondered, how would it feel if someone told you that the baby you have been eagerly waiting to be born for so long is not actually yours! You would feel betrayed and devastated, wouldn’t you? That is exactly how these fathers felt when this sad realization dawned upon them (We feel sorry for them too).
Godparents Play A Prank
“My husband and I were visiting our friends who’d just had a baby (we are the godparents) and we were standing in the hallway talking to both sets of grandparents. Well, apparently the hospital has a rule that only 5 visitors may be present in the hallway, but the security guard had let all 6 of us in for some reason and we didn’t realize it. This nasty nurse comes up to us, notes that there are six of us, tells us someone will have to leave immediately, and then turns to my husband and says, “Oh, are you the daddy?” Without missing a beat, he says, “That’s what we’re all trying to figure out here.” She gets a look of horror on her face and backs away.” (MarionADupree)
While He Was In Afghanistan
“Worked in the army hospital on ft Lewis. A woman came in for belly pain and we found out and told her she was 10 weeks pregnant. The husband at the bedside started laughing, grabbed his coat and left the room explaining to us that he had been in Afghanistan until 3 weeks prior. He looked back and her and just said “Well that’s that Brittany.”
I always liked how classily he left her while she just silently stared off into space.” (Mjrfrankburns)
When Gf’s Mom Lied About Paternity Test
“Not in the hospital, but a friend and his gf were on again/off again and she got pregnant. She swears it’s his, he wants a paternity test. He moves in with her and her mom, she has the baby, takes the test. Test is taking a while to come back, him and his family are over the moon with the baby, kinda forget about it. Mentions it to gf’s mom one day and she says “oh yeah, she didn’t tell you? Came back a while ago, totally your baby!” Awesome, all is well! A few months later they’re moving out and he finds out the test in a box, not his baby :p
ETA: He left, tried to stay in the baby’s life but she wouldn’t let him.” (LeafsChick)
When The Dad Was Not Sure
“Oh man, I’m so late to this thread! I used to work in the newborn nursery at a hospital. We got the babies right from delivery, cleaned them up, foot printed them, checked vitals, etc. Dads usually came in with the newborns. This dad comes in with this baby. Dad is white, mom is white, baby is very obviously not white. The dad was very quiet standing next to this baby, watching us clean it up. He says quietly, “I don’t think this is my baby.” You could tell he was absolutely devastated. We advised him not to sign the birth certificate until he was sure. Not sure what happened after we sent the baby back out to mom, but I felt awful for the guy.” (rootberryfloat)
When The Blood Group Didn’t Match
“I was blood typing a newborn once. Mom was an O+, baby was AB+… Which is more or less not possible. I immediately panicked, because Jesus God they mixed up the babies. Someone has the wrong baby. We’re gonna get sued, they’re gonna have to genetic test the entire nursery, what if they subpoena me for being the idiot who discovered the problem? I don’t have insurance, what if they sue me?!
After repeating the test three times I called the floor and told them that they’d either drawn the wrong baby’s blood, or they’d switched babies because Mom couldn’t be the baby’s mother.
Lol no, it was a donor egg. The redraw matched fine, everyone was where they were supposed to be. Oh god my heart, though!” (wishIWereHere)
Wife Gives A Shock On The Way To The Hospital
“I used to work with a guy whose wife was pregnant. Near time for delivery everyone at our place of business had a big party with gifts, money, etc. So big day comes, water breaks, they get in car to go to hospital. She breaks the news on the way there it’s not his, the kid is another race, and if he could just drop her off at the hospital and then leave, that would be great.
He took a few days off work, found a new apartment, moved out, filed divorce etc. he called in to work and told someone what happened, news spread pretty fast. All congratulations cards, etc. were cleaned up and thrown away. Everyone was very sensitive to his pain. Except, somehow, I don’t know how, I did not get the news.
So on his first day back, I walked into the office he shared with 6-7 other guys and said “Hey hey, Daddio, how’s fatherhood so far? Getting any sleep? Got some pictures? Let’s see the little tike!”
He slowly lifted his head to look at me with a painful look. The room was dead silent. One of his workmates stood up, grabbed my arm and walked me out of the room, shushing me. “What happened, “I asked, “Did it die? What’s the problem?”
When he told me I about died myself. I still feel bad for the dude and it’s been 30 years.” (BlueGillMan)
Coworker’s Baby Is Stillborn
“I worked with this guy a few years back. He and his wife were pregnant. They were super excited and shared the news with everyone and put stuff all over social media.
So fast forward a few months and the kid is unfortunately stillborn. They had a professional photographer come to the hospital and they did a series of photos. Holding the baby. Dressing it up. Kissing it on the head. You know, usual newborn photos. The bizarre thing is they put them all on Facebook. I found it kind of morbid, but whatever, I’ve never lost a kid so that’s cool.
One day at work a guy from a different branch comes into the store and congratulates my coworker. Slaps him on the back and says all this stereotypical new dad small talk BS. My coworker informs him the baby was born dead. The other guy refuses to believe it and keeps saying “Shut up man, quit messing with me, I saw the pictures on Facebook” they go back and forth and the guy finally realizes he’s not being messed with.
This was the most uncomfortable exchange I have ever seen between two humans.” (hammsbeer4life)
Drama Filled L&D Section
“I’m not a nurse, my professor was an L&D nurse and she once saw a man running between two delivery rooms. Both women he had impregnated went into labor and gave birth the same day. Supposedly the one he was married to was angry because the woman he cheated with was impregnated after the wife but had her kid ten minutes before the wife.
L&D is apparently the most drama filled section of hospitals. My SON is planning to be a nurse and he’s going to work in L&D/neonatal this year and I’m excited to hear any dramatic stories.” (ThrowDiscoAway)
Black Couple Has An Albino Baby
“Similar, but I don’t know where else to put it because it just makes me laugh. My aunt is a nurse in the maternity ward. She had a couple come in where they were both very black. Lady has baby and it is white AF. Like, totally pale, no trace of any pigment. They put the baby on her mom and the mom starts yelling about how this isn’t her baby and they stole her baby (in all fairness, you can be very confused during/after delivery, it wasn’t stupidity), just sobbing and freaking out and the father is just sitting there and looks very confused because even he’s realizing that even if she did cheat, there is no way the baby would be THAT white. The doctor and nurses are trying to assure her that this is her baby and the skin usually darkens later.
Come to find out, when he called his mom, she pointed out that they have a second cousin who is albino and maybe baby got that gene. Turns out that’s what happened- baby was albino.” (Beachy5313)
Where He Cut All Contacts
“Had a college buddy whose fiancee was pregnant. They were the “perfect couple,” both had just over a year with great careers starting out, everything was butterflies and rainbows. Fast forward to the delivery room, they’re in there and out comes a very black baby. He’s quite the pale redhead, and she’s a blonde/blue eyes Texas girl. He made sure everyone was ok, waited for her parents to arrive, and left without saying a word. He moved all his stuff out of the house while she was in the hospital, and cut off all communications with her, just walked out of their lives in the most stone-cold act I’d ever seen. They were together for nine years, and he just left cold turkey. She tried to contact him at his job a few times, but he quickly moved up the ladder and eventually got a job in another city. He told me once that he took solace in the fact that her family had already dropped about $10k in a wedding that never happened.” (tacoscholar)
Daughter Finds Out About Her Biological Dad
“A coworker’s aunt just found out her dad wasn’t actually her dad.
So she was really big into genealogy and had mapped out her family tree as far as she could go. She took one of those Ancestry DNA tests about two months ago, and her father’s side didn’t line up with what she was expecting. In fact, she didn’t recognize a single name that she was matched with paternally. She casually asked her dad if he knew any of the names, and he recognized the surname of the maintenance man at the apartment complex where he and his wife (aunt’s mom) lived shortly after they had gotten married. Claimed he was a lousy repairman who always flirted with his wife, etc.
Aunt’s mom had passed away a few years ago, so she decided to not tell her dad the news.” (Kjwells94)
When The Mother Left After Giving Birth
“Nurse here. Once had a couple come in, just them. The father was black and the mother was white. The father was so involved, so ecstatic about him becoming a father for the second time with this women. Nothing really seemed off, until she started pushing. The baby girl came out completely white, blonde hair and blue eyes. Usually black babies come out a little pale. But this was just straight out white. We had to escort the father out for fear of him becoming violent, but he just sat outside the room, on the ground with his face in his hands. That was one of the saddest moments I think I’ve ever seen with a father, besides stillbirth.
Odd thing after though, the mom didn’t want the baby and wanted nothing to do with the “father”, probably out of guilt. So she left the responsibility of this baby and their other 2 year old boy to this man who didn’t even question taking on this child.” (Idkjill)
Half Black Babies On “No-Info Status”
“I worked as a lab tech before I became a nurse. We had a set of twins in the NICU that were super early and the mom was still in the OR getting sewed up from the cesarean. I was drawing Baby B’s blood when mom was wheeled over to Baby A’s isolette. She was crying and said, “Oh thank god you’re not black! I have been so worried the last 7 months.”
So newborn babies, especially when they’re born early, are very pink, almost red. So even if a baby was part-black, their skin isn’t necessarily dark yet. But looking at these babies, it was obvious they were going to be black. The shape of the face, the texture of the hair, and Baby B that I was working on had an intense Mongolian spot.
A few weeks later, my NICU nurse friend told me that the babies were now on a “no-info status” meaning security alert, can’t give anyone information about them, can’t refer to them by name, etc. She said there was a huge fight because the mom’s husband (white guy) obviously noticed that the babies were half black and that mom had cheated on him and got pregnant. The real dad (black guy) came in and didn’t realize the mom was even married.
Those poor babies ☹” (fitnurse6)
Uninterested Caucasian Couple
“I was doing epidurals in residency. This Caucasian couple was a more rural part of the country and they don’t look or sound particularly educated.
Anyhow, wife is particularly antsy. Asking when she can go home, even though the baby isn’t out yet. Husband looks bored and uninterested, like he’s been there a whole bunch of times. I usually don’t stay in the rooms during delivery, but this one I just happened to be nearby to give more in the epidural because of a tear immediately after delivery.
Anyhow, when I get to the room, the wife is holding her eyes shut and doesn’t want to see the baby. I look at the baby and he’s obviously black.
Now the husband is paying attention, and he sees what I do. He keeps repeating, “When dat baby gonna pink up?” Louder and louder. The ob tries to diffuse things by reminding everyone that this moment is critical and suggests the baby should be taken to the resuscitation area in the NICU and that the father should step out while the ob repaired the laceration.
We called the social worker and security and I was called elsewhere, so I don’t know what happened afterwards, so I can’t imagine it was good.” (drleeisinsurgery)
When They Had A Laugh About It
“My sister got pregnant in high school and later met her now husband when she was 5 months pregnant. She is white and boyfriend is black. The baby’s daddy was white and not present. I was with our entire family, including my now brother in law, visiting the baby. My sister was still in recovery from her C-section. Brother in law picks up my niece, the nurse looks at him and says “She should darken up in a few days”. We all had a laugh. We knew he wasn’t the father, but she didn’t. I always wondered if she felt bad/ assumed adultery. They have two more girls together and he was able to adopt a three years later.” (MetalPixie311)
When The Father Was Ignorant
“Not a doctor, but a distant cousin of mine definitely has children that don’t belong to the father….My cousin was adopted as an infant and was essentially a “crack baby.” She struggled with some developmental issues and has a low IQ compared to most, but can still live on her own with little to no issues. She (a white woman) married a Latino guy (really dark brown skin) several years ago and they had a son together who has dark hair, dark skin, and dark eyes. He is easily identified as their son. The real trouble happens years later…Her husband, who we’ll call Javier, has some IQ issues of his own. Just a little slow when it comes to tasks and reasoning. Anyway, Javier is in the military and gets deployed internationally for about 6 months. When he comes home, his wife is 4 months pregnant…you do the math. He still believes the baby is his own, even after it’s born with pale skin and blonde hair & blue eyes. If that wasn’t bad enough, it happens AGAIN two years later with another baby. Same blonde hair and blue eyes. Everyone knows she slept with a different man (it was actually her high school boyfriend), but Javier still thinks the children are his. It’s kind of sad, but at this point there’s not much you can do. He has raised the kids as his own.” (brickwallwaterfall)
Guy Feels Sorry For His Dad
“Oh boy, I’m the illegitimate baby in this one! So apparently my mom and “dad” were on a break, so she had a one-night-stand with a dude she JUST met at a party. Later she tells my “dad” that she’s pregnant with his kid, so they get back together so he can support her. I was born pretty dark because my bio dad was very very Native American. The nurses made comments about me being a dark baby but I guess “dad” attributed it to the bit of Native in my mom, even though she’s very pale skinned. Anyway, this being Oklahoma, of course my “dad” marries her to do the right thing. I was adopted by him after the wedding at about ten months old. A month later my brother was born (definitely my dad’s kid) and not long after that they had a fight and she drops the revelation on him that I wasn’t his. No idea why it wasn’t more obvious or was he in denial. Both my “brothers” are red-headed, light eyed, and pale skinned with freckles. I popped out the womb with dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes, and no freckles. Even the nurses were like “What a cute Indian (Native American) baby!” BUT during the divorce (when he had known the truth for a few years) he fought for me, along with my brothers, and eventually got custody of all of us. He planned on never telling me but eventually my mom’s loud mouthed, complete piece of crap sister decided to let me know during an argument to be petty. That was probably the first time I really saw my Dad cry. He’s had periods of not being the best dad, but overall I ended up getting all my most defining traits from him. His commitment to a decision, his maniac work ethic which was how he showed love, and his strength to keep moving forward despite constantly getting ruined by any woman he trusts. I think he’s done looking for love. It makes me sad because he really deserves it. Maybe if my mom had been a better person he would have had a chance at that. He did get remarried but the only thing worse than a stupid mom is an evil, narcissistic step mother” (RikaBaF27)
Confusion About The Baby’s Parents
“A friend of mine has a good one.
Dad passed out during the delivery and when he came to the nurse handed him a baby girl that was several shades darker than he or his wife. Baby was also apparently conceived under such circumstances that he knew he was the father.
So this guy was walking around delivery trying to figure out whose baby he had. Popping his head into random rooms asking if anyone had misplaced a baby. This continues until he ran into great grandma. Grandma proclaimed that baby girl is the spitting image of her late husband.
No one has ever told him that his grandpa was black.” (notmebutmyroommate)
Husband Accuses Wife Of Cheating
“Labor and delivery nurse here. Black babies are usually a lot lighter at birth. Not everyone is aware of this, so I’ve had a few dramatic deliveries where the father looks at the baby and accuses the mom of cheating because the baby isn’t as dark. Lots of drama happens on L&D!!!
Edit: adding a PSA or pamphlet about this subject wouldn’t really help. A lot of people might be extremely offended that you assumed the father of the baby would accuse their partner of cheating on them. If the father is accusing the mother of cheating right after the delivery of their child then their relationship dynamic might not be the best to begin with.
Edit 2: I don’t mean the baby’s weight, rather their skin color.
Edit 3: everyone that’s upset about there not being a PSA or pamphlet on this, if you feel that strongly then please feel free to contact your local hospital to set up education about this.
Edit 4: changed “African American” because, in true Reddit fashion, people got offended.” (tina_bean02)
When Dad Bailed Out
“Not a nurse or a doctor, but I was the son. Black dad, white mom — I came out fully white. Dad bailed. Turns out after paternity testing, I AM his. I’m just super white, still am this day. I could pass as Italian or Latino, but I definitely don’t look half-black.
Edit: Didn’t expect this to blow up as much as it did. If you are in a similar boat as me, please reach out to r/mixedrace. It’s an amazing and super welcoming community that will help you talk about any mixed race identity issues you may have, or just celebrate your cool mix. Even if you’re secure in your identity, please post — there may be youngsters who are struggling who need to hear your story.” (PNDMike)
Heartbreaking News For The Daughter
“Not the exact story you’re looking for, but …I’m a med-surg nurse. I had an older male patient, who was in for anemia with critically low hemoglobin levels, receiving a few units of blood. I’d been taking care of him the last couple of days, and his daughter was visiting at the time with the patient’s wife and him. We had to do our 2 nurse identification process for the blood, where we go over the name, ID numbers, and blood type for confirmation before hanging it on the patient. When we were going through it, the daughter stops us and asks us what blood type we just said. I didn’t really understand why at the time, but I told her again, and she got really concerned we may be hanging the wrong blood. She said that couldn’t be right, because she was an anatomy professor, and there was no way the crossmatch could be right, because she was AB, and she knew her mom had Blood type A, so her dad couldn’t possibly be A either. I didn’t think much of it, and went back to the doctor to ask him for another crossmatch, and he was like…”Oh, yeah, she might not be his daughter then…” We ordered another crossmatch, and sure enough it came back as an A blood type. She just sat in the corner really quiet the rest of the day with a really sad look on her face. Her mom and dad didn’t really get what was going on, but I know she had some idea.” (andybent25)
Fiance’s Father Is Not His Biological Dad
“My fiance’s father is almost certainly not his biological dad. His mom was just a genuinely terrible human being who didn’t even try to hide the fact she was cheating. But his dad loved him from the second he was born and when the mom decided 4 years later she just didn’t want the kid anymore she just gave him to his “dad” and rode off. J’s dad ended up getting married and they tried for kids before finding out his sperm count was too low to ever father children (they ended up adopting many years later). He sat my fiance down when my fiance was 13 and told him the truth and that if J wanted to test they would but it was up to him. J cried and told him he just wanted him to be his dad and that was the end of that. Edit: I originally had put “real dad” instead of “biological dad”. Changed it when several people pointed out that the man who raised him is most certainly his “real dad”.” (bagzilla)
Step Dad Is A Nice Man
“My step dad (who is an outstanding man and father) was in the navy and had just broken up with his girlfriend. As soon as he moved across the country she told him she was pregnant he moved back and married her to take care of what he thought was his kid. As soon as the baby (my step brother) was born it was very apparent the baby was not his. Regardless, he stayed married and raised my step brother and had another son with his now ex-wife. When my other step brother was born it was even more apparent the first baby wasn’t his as the second baby looked EXACTLY like my step dad. They stayed together a few more years but she is crazy (obviously) so he eventually took my brothers and left, later marrying my mom and having another child who looks exactly like him with my mom. The only sad part is my dad didn’t want to break the news to my step brother (he’s super non-confrontational) and my step brother didn’t find out until he was like 19 and had a huge identity crisis and eventually met his biological dad. Now everything is okay and we’re still one big Brady bunch family.
Edit: I was referring to a wholesome TV family, not a wholesome meal between breakfast and lunch.” (Braynetwilyte)
Man Cares For Fatherless Child As His Own
“My biological father is a dead beat. My mom and dad got together when I was 18 months old. I recently got married and at my wedding my dad told this story: I was very young, maybe 2, and my parents had gone camping at the beach. My dad was playing on the beach with me and lifted me up on his shoulders. Well he lost his balance and we both fell and I scraped my knee. My dad apparently cried and was super worried about if I was ok and whether I’d trust him again. He said that moment was when he realized he wanted to be my dad and not just my mom’s boyfriend. My parents have been together ever since and my dad has always treated me like he treats my siblings that he had with my mom. I got very lucky and I have mad respect for all men who raise father-less kids like their own. I sometimes wonder about my half siblings that come from bio father but I don’t know or care about the man himself. I have a dad, a true dad, who put his family before himself.” (MagnoliaLiliiflora)
Wife Probably Cheated On Him
“Happened to my fiance’s mom… His mom is a labor and delivery nurse. One time she had a patient whose parents were present during her stay at the hospital. The staff there have a white board with some general information about the patients like blood type, time spent in the wing, and like how far along. This information is nameless for HIPAA reasons and instead has a patient’s number. So this patient happened to be the only one in the wing at the time. Her father was walking back from the cafeteria at one point, and noticed the board. He stopped one of the nurses and asked if the blood type for the patient on the board was correct (he knew his daughter was the only patient there). It was B+. The nurse confirmed it was correct.
Turns out he knew his and his wife’s blood type. He was O+ and his wife was A-. This combination will never yield a B+ baby. He brings his wife out and just points at the board and this look of shock washes over her.” (ljb423)
Two Men Were In Line To Father A Child
“My father is an OB GYN, so he has some good stories. His latest story is about a women who came to his office with her husband and her boyfriend. They don’t know who the father is, and they can’t find out until the baby is born, so both men want to be there during doctor appointments and the birth. The two men were surprisingly cordial with each other but I’m betting a paternity test will be run before the umbilical cord is even cut.” (Racheltower)
Mix Up At The Clinic
“I was in the waiting room once at a small hospital in Vermont, there was two people having a baby that day, and one of them went fine, the other had some trouble. The trouble one’s father came out talking on the phone, demanding to talk to a manager… I only heard one side of the conversation, but apparently, they had gone to a sperm clinic and had been given a (his words) “Brown man’s baby”.” (GonzoMojo)
Husband To The Rescue
“I’ll speak for my doctor on this, bless his heart. My husband and I are white. When our daughter was born, she looked very Asian. What people don’t tend to notice about my husband because he wears glasses is that his eyes are very Asian looking. So on my discharge morning from the hospital I’m sleeping and my husband is sitting there holding our baby. Instead of my doctor waking me up he talks with my husband. Asking him why our baby looks so Asian. My husband had to explain that she looked exactly like his baby pictures from his birth. 5 years later she still looks like a female version of him. Which is ok because we had a second baby that is a boy version of me.” (ihcuwanfs)
Man Gets Aggressive At Birth
“Nurse here. I have a friend that’s also an RN who had a patient in this scenario. Apparently the not-Dad walked out of the room and started to rage. She went over to him to try and talk to him and he punched her in the stomach. She said security tackled him within seconds and got him to the ground. The not-Dad had apparently found out he wasn’t the Dad when his girlfriend wouldn’t be let him sign the birth certificate?” (cakejukebox)
Doctor Gets Punched In The Face
“My dad once told me about the time his sister had her first kid (my cousin, obviously).
As soon as my aunt took the baby, the doctor looked at my uncle and asked “So when’s the father getting here?” Apparently the baby “looked Asian”.
In response, my uncle punched the doctor in the face. Maybe a slight over reaction…” (whitfield9919)