Dwad

50 Memes That Will Help You Cope as a Parent

sturgeon - May 16, 2018
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I have 3 kids (please kill me) and they are wonderful (when they are sleeping). Sometimes kids can be a bit much and by sometimes, I mean all the time. When I see another set of parents trying to calm their screaming bundles of terror at the mall, I try to make eye contact with them, nod and offer a sympathetic look that says “I know your pain bro… I know your pain.”

Outside of bitching about parenting to other parents who also hate their kids, I have found another release. MEMES. They are a great way to commiserate and perfect for when you feel like you’re alone in this never-ending nightmare. You are not alone! It’s always a relief when another parent posts a picture of their child who ALSO pooped the bed and spread it all over the room. I really thought it was only my kid. 

Did you know that sometimes children get boogers stuck in their noses and they don’t know how to BLOW THEIR NOSE so you have to SUCK IT OUT somehow FOR them? Nobody told me that. I would have reconsidered my options if this knowledge was made available to me. I can handle the diaper thing, but the boogers. The boogers, man. 

Here’s a collection of my top 50 (out of 1000) favorite memes about parenting that get me through some of the hard times. I hope you can relate to most of them and share them with other parents who are in need of some laughs. Not the innocent child-like laughter, but the laughter of a crazy person who hasn’t slept in 48 hours.

 

Give Up

Why are children tiny drunk people? Seriously, they act like inebriated adults.

Meth

I also would rather give meth a shot.

Classic

My kid will just start smiling and laughing mid crying. What a psycho. Pick a lane. Are you mad or happy?

Why?

I did this as a kid and it’s a fitting punishment. I accept this karma.

HA!

Stop trying to get me involved in dumb activities. All the other dads are loser douches and I don’t like talking to them.

Same Page

If you aren’t on the same page then someone will end up dead. Communicate, friends!

It Goes So Fast

Then why is it going so slow for me? Can you explain that, jerk?

Need.

Still not enough wine. Gonna need a pallette.

Swears

Usually right after you said it. I always feel a sense of pride. It’s like a tiny terrible you. Awwwww…

Weekends

HAHAHA remember when weekends were a thing? Now I look forward to Monday morning traffic. That is my new happy place.

Solidarity

We stand with you. United.

Mother's Day

“But we made the mess for YOUR Mother’s Day breakfast in bed surprise!”

Summer

Sign them up for ALLLLLL the camps.

Lego

Everyone has experienced this. However, the rate of this is significantly increased as a parent.

Freedom

I used to have anxiety about this. Now it’s a high unlike no other.

Time Bomb

And you know it’s going to explode. You just don’t know when.

This Guy

I know exactly how this dude feels. It’s okay, man. Only 10 more years until they become teenagers and hate you.

The Worst

Snowsuit season is in the top 5 things I dread about being a parent.

Solution

This wouldn’t work for my family. Too dysfunctional.

I Feel You

I feel you. I’ll hold them off for another 20 minutes.

Milk

HAHA yeah, can we all agree that moms get the worst of the annoying-ness? Pick up the slack, Daddy-o’s!

I Don't Care

I’m so good at pretending I care.

Idea

This isn’t really a meme I guess but a great idea. Gonna try it out.

Poop

EVERY. TIME. EVERYWHERE.

Truth

Not my prob! Good luck cleaning that up, minimum wage kid.

Fail

Dads are the worst. I know because I am one of them.

Grounded

And 2018. I hate these things.

Toys

Yeah, my children are like cats. You buy them something awesome and fun and they are playing with a piece of dust in the corner.

Death Grip

We can’t do the Homer Simpson choke because it’s illegal. Something like this works just as well. Paired with the look of death of course.

Slow Mo

VERY accurate. This meme gets it. There’s also the most random excuses that make no sense.

Non Parents

PFFF. Take my kids for one hour. You’ll be begging for mercy.

Bathroom

YO. STOP IT. DAD’S TAKING A MASSIVE DUMP.

But I’m really on my phone avoiding parenting.

Oreo

Don’t give my kids that idea, dummy. “Daddy, can we try brushing our teeth with Oreos tonight?”

And I’m like “fine, but after, brush your teeth again with toothpaste to get the Oreo out.”

Sleep

I like this meme cause it feels like the chaos is planned sometimes. That’s crazy, right? I mean, they can’t be doing this on purpose, can they?

NOOOOO!

Did you see the movie A Quiet Place? Where the kid’s toy sound goes off and everything goes to shit? Same thing.

WHISTLE

This combo with some sugary candy is the just the most awfullest worst!

2nd Baby

Kid #1: YAY!! You are so special and we love you!

Kid #2: Who cares.

See If I Care

My kid smiled at me once and there were rocks in his mouth. I just sighed and continued flipping through my magazine.

Tired

A truer statement has never been uttered.

Pie Chart

The “I don’t even know anymore” slice would be much bigger in my case.

Cool Hack

And it works every time. Great parenting hack I picked up from another terrible parent.

PTSD

EVERY. TIME. I stop the shower and listen intently. Sometimes I scream “WHATTTT?!!”

I. Do. Not. Care.

I used to kick so much ass. Now I am the one who gets my ass kicked.

Why?

BECAUSE I SAID SO. YOU LOOK LIKE A TROLL, SON.

People Without Kids

People without kids are the worst and should be barred from making any comments to me whatsoever. Ever. Go back to your xbox and beanie babies.

Susan

Even if you get your kids’ names wrong, they won’t know the difference.