Dwad

30 Worst English Translations

By sturgeon - April 01, 2018
Credits: engrish.com

We’ve all been there. You’re at your local Asian food market and you happen to read a funny misspelled label. While it’s extremely awkward to point this out and you shouldn’t discuss it, you chuckled politely inside your own brain. Perhaps you go one step further and sneak an iPhone picture to send to your friends. You are a terrible person.

You ain’t seen nothing like THESE bad boys though. Check out our top 30 terrible translations:

Banana Talk

Credits: engrish.com

This is the banana social equivalent to asking “boxers or briefs”

Also, I’d like to point out that in 2018 it’s rude to openly discuss the difference in the colors and spots on your outside peel. What matters is on the inside.

Baby on Car

Credits: engrish.com

They just forgot the “?” at the end. It should read “Is baby on the car?”

That way you have the sticker on your car and then as people are driving by, they read it and check to see if you forgot your baby on the roof of your car. Japan is such a friendly place.

Bang Feces

Credits: engrish.com

I REALLY want to know what THIS is. At first, I thought, “no this can’t be about poopooing.” But then I saw the swirly poop in the background.

My best guess is that this 8$ product will allow you to bang the poop back into your body if you didn’t want it to come out in the first place. That way you can poop out your poo when you have time later on.

Video Game

Credits: engrish.com

Love Nintendo. I don’t think I’ve ever read a single title card from a video game in my life. I just got home from school and the last thing I want to do is read about stuff. I just want to kill things with hot shotgun ammo.

Beware

Credits: engrish.com

Okay, let’s get serious for a moment. This is not a typo. I just genuinely want you to make sure that you always guard your heart from whoever might want to get into your life. Sometimes people can hurt you and leave a scar that can last a lifetime. Beware.

Horse in the Prairie

Credits: engrish.com

Thank you Razor Company. You know what I want to do. Run like a horse in the prairies. I wonder if the shaving cream company also knows that I want to make out with a baboon under the stars.

Cheerful Hamster

Credits: engrish.com

*Translated from Japanese*

“Papa this juice is so delicious! Where do all the delicious flavors come from?

“Well son, it comes from the ground-up cheerful hamsters! The hamsters MUST be cheerful. I’ve tasted a non-cheerful blend and it’s just not the same.”

Clash

Credits: engrish.com

Looks more like an explosion to me. I wish I had more answers, but as usual, I only have more questions.

Why are their feet touching? Is this a warning? Maybe it’s just a disclaimer rather than a warning. Is this an argument? We could be here all night folks.

 

Cuntry

Credits: engrish.com

It could be worse. It could say Cuntry Pube.

I’d really like to experience a country club that lets this kind of spelling take place. I imagine their country clubs are just DDR and bubble tea.

Discount

Credits: engrish.com

I got a theory here. Maybe what they mean is that whatever discount they offer, you get 100% of THAT discount. Example: if they offer you 20% off, they are kind enough to let you have 100% of that 20%? Get it?

Naw, it’s probably just a bad translation.

englishenglishenglish

Credits: engrish.com

I think someone just got lazy here.

“teehee! No one read. Boss don’t know. I just copy paste. haha!”

Well, we caught you bud and we won’t rest until we hunt you down and demand answers for this nonsense.

God Coffee

Credits: engrish.com

Well, some people believe that God can be inside you. This drink proves it. Plus it looks like it’s some kind of coffee drink. This way God can give you the energy to get through the day.

Hair and Coffee

Credits: engrish.com

I often get hair in my coffee. That’s cause I have cats and I probably eat a whole sweater worth of cat hair in one year. I don’t recommend it at all, Sobei.

Fix this.

Hair Cook Pit

Credits: engrish.com

Please don’t cook hair. I was on the bus once and these kids burnt their hair and it smelled terrible.

Look I know it’s probably a delicacy in your country and there’s not a lot of food, but stop. Especially if it’s a whole “Pit” of it.

Rabbi

Credits: engrish.com

Yo. This made me think. Are there any Jews in Japan? I’m assuming this is Japan cause of the Hello Kitty-looking animal.

So there are only like 1000 Jews in Japan. That’s not enough Jews. Also, this marketing is highly targeted.

Human Water

Credits: engrish.com

If it’s 2% human water, then what’s the other 98%?

I imagine human water like from that scene in Jackass where they make that fat guy do exercises while wearing a suit and they make Steve-o drink his sweat. That was disgusting.

Jeans for Your Ass

Credits: engrish.com

Love the punctuation here. Nice job.

Also, jeans for your ass is a pretty cool slogan. I think it would actually work here in North America. I could see that hanging at H&M: “Cute jeans for your fat ass!”

It’s honest and people crave honesty these days.

Life with CREAP

Credits: engrish.com

Pink shirt? Check. Latte? Check. Holding a guitar like a weirdo? Check. Sittin’ on the floor for no reason? Check.

Ladies and gentleman, we’ve got a CREAP!

Manicure Set

Credits: engrish.com

Yeah ummmm MAYBE FOR HAGRID LOLOLOLOL

But in all seriousness, this is not a manicure set. They got it wrong. They should fire the child that made this.

MPA

Credits: engrish.com

Okay, a couple of things here. Master and Pubic should not be in the same sentence. Ever.

Also, did it ever occur to them to just not translate stuff? Who’s the English guy coming here for accounting? It’s just not necessary.

Don't Stare At Monkeys

Credits: engrish.com

Okay but guys, look at the cartoon on the left… those two are balls deep in a dispute and they are already going to be fighting… it has literally nothing to do with the fact that it’s a monkey.

Also shirt stands for “Actually Freaking Out”.

Prince

Credits: engrish.com

I figured it out! It should say “Welcome to the best place. Where makes you happy?”

Then when you go in you have a meal and you get food poisoning.

No Pissing

Credits: engrish.com

You know, once again. This could be a case of something being taken out of context, like, I dunno, maybe somebody DID take a piss on the security cam and now they’ve made adjustments. Don’t be a fool.

Perfeect

Credits: engrish.com

Hey, are you a human? Do you have everything a human has and also nice smells? Great. Now wash your hands cause apparently, this is a bathroom.

Sexy Cramp

Credits: engrish.com

Nothing sexier than a cramp. I think what they meant to write was Sexy Crap, which is only a few percentage points better.

Stuff Only

Credits: engrish.com

K well this could be a legit sign. This comes from Asia and they have VERY tiny people and poor human rights records so this might just be a correct sign that you don’t understand.

Thank You

Credits: engrish.com

*Sniff* This is what I needed man *sniff* I was going to do it man *sniff*

I was going to jump off the building. I just needed a sign and there it was… *sniff*

Three Minutes

Credits: engrish.com

Straight to the point. I need a lot less than 3 minutes for that kind of happiness. I’m more curious about the happy feeling being associated with happy feeling. I’m confused. You’re fired.

Thunder Crap

Credits: engrish.com

I’ve always thought that thunder was God doing a massive fart. The only suspicions I had about this not being the case was that there was no smell. I mean it was GOD, so all things were possible.

Okay... Go On.

Credits: engrish.com

Okay, let’s play this out. What if I am found guilty? Do I go to prison…. where you WAIT forever? I don’t think you’ve thought this through, bud.