Dwad

29 Toy Failures

reddit

Kids don’t need toys. Put them outside and let them play with twigs and rocks. I’m not even joking. Kids have crazy imaginations. They make up all kinds of dumb crap to escape their boredom.

Parents, however, still insist on buying crap that their kids will be bored with by next week. Considering the sheer volume of products being produced to grab children’s attention, there’s bound to be a few botched toys that we can round up and laugh at.

And THAT’S WHAT WE DID! Buckle up and check out 29 toys that FAILED AT BEING TOYS:

 

 

1

Kill Me

boredpanda

“Hey, so I got an idea for a new toy! We’ll create a stuffed animal that looks super depressed so that our kids can reflect upon their lives and realize that maybe they don’t have it so bad in the end!!!” – Guy who pitches toy ideas at toy company.

“Let’s do it!” said the CEO of this stupid company.

2

Sponge Bob

smosh

Oh yeah dude, I loved this show growing up. It’s all about a starfish called Sponge Bob. Wait. That’s not it…. OH yeah!! He’s a spongy starfish. He has an evil friend called Patrick who is a sea cucumber and continuously plots to take over the world. Classic.

3

Special Man

emgn

So much wrong with this. Are you worried about copyright infringement? ‘Cause if so, then I’d suggest that Special Man still looks exactly like Superman except with a Greek/Italian thing going on. Anybody else bothered by the off-center placement? #OCD

4

I Can’t Handle This.

reddit

PFFFFFFFF AHAHAHAHFSFKLFSJFL.

What. IS. THIS.  ??????

DID YODA HAVE SEX WITH A KARATE FARMER AND MAKE THIS BEING?

I imagine this new Star Warsiors character to speak with a deep voice.

5

Kids Won’t Know

reddit

C’mon dude. Let your kid have a life and play with these. They’ll never know that they’re kinky sex handcuffs. Plus the fuzziness will help with any irritation on the wrists. WIN/WIN

6

Blue Man Group

boredpanda

It’s a crossover with the Blue Man Group. HOGWARTS EDITION. (Yo what even is the Blue Man Group?)

I enjoy that they included training wheels for Harry’s broom just in case you didn’t want to lift it up and pretend that it’s FLYING!

Thirdly, why is the packaging so good compared to this piece of crap???

7

Ouch

reddit

HAhA oh god. This is funny. Remember these types of water guns too? They always sucked so many balls. They would leak all over and it would run out after 3 squirts. Enjoy making Batman squirt out of his mouth, friends!

8

Super Deformed

reddit

You get what you pay for. The packaging clearly outlines exactly what it is.

So don’t come crying to me when you get woken up at night and catch a glimpse of this awful thing in the shadow of your nightlight, Jimmy. You’re lucky I got you anything cause you’re just a terrible kid.

9

Anatomically Correct

imgur

A good way to avoid this next time: Don’t make it a boy horse.

Problem solved. The kids will look underneath the horse and say, “Where is the penis?” and the parent will say, “It’s a girl horse, honey.” That would explain why it’s all smooth down there.

It’s not that hard. (That’s what she said.)

10

How Did This Even Happen?

reddit

How about you concentrate a little harder on your packaging PAW PATROL. I had to have the Nazi talk with my kid now. Thanks a lot.