30 Lawyers Share The Worst Divorce Cases

By Kanupriya - January 25, 2020

Divorces are always hard. Even if you had a harder marriage, the entire process of divorce will drain out your energy in a nasty way. While there are some divorces that are easy and mutual and maintain the respect of the ended-marriage and spouses, there are plenty of divorces that take care of no such things. Those are generally the divorce cases that are fought between bitter spouses who find themselves affordable divorce lawyers, and its effect is mostly seen either on the kids or properties. Here are exactly such divorce cases that are creepy, petty but funny in its own way. You might also find such cases here that even a free lawyer would not be willing to take.

Most of the cases are presented from the point of view of the divorce lawyers, but there are also cases shared by the kids of the divorcees, the exes, witnesses, and close members of the people involved in the case. A lot of cases here do not reveal who exactly cheated on whom. But, the entire hearing and distribution of assets and custody are what make those cases interesting. There is clash of egos, one partner outsmarting the other, and plenty of drama of the lawyers that you must not miss. 

So go ahead and binge read them right away!


Won't Spit On Your Grave

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I worked for a judge. 2 prominent local news people had a divorce. They filed mutual restraining orders against each other for “violence.” The filings were vague on details, but still somehow conveyed a sense of Shiloh or Antietam levels of blood.

When it came time for the hearing, it turned out the “violence” was spitting. More specifically, during a heated argument, flecks of spittle managed to touch the other party.

Judge denied the restraining orders, and both parties’ attorneys probably bought new yachts.

Such is justice.


Till Death Do Us Apart

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I used to be a divorce lawyer but it was not something I was proud of, plus the partner I worked for was such an idiot. I was the eleventh associate that worked for her in 10 years. We used to go through 2-3 secretaries a year.

Couple of screwed up cases I remember

–Our client and his wife were Mormon. During the divorce she used to tell him that he had to give her what she wanted in the divorce because they were sealed in the church and would be spending eternity together. We had to fight him not to give her more than she deserved.

–Represented the wife of a minor celebrity and said celebrity would file for divorce regularly when she “acted up.” Once he determined she was behaving as he liked, he’d cancel the divorce. Rotten idiot.


The Lawyer's Divorce

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Husband and wife are getting divorced after multiple attempts to reconcile. Husband is an attorney, though not family law.

One of the attempted reconciliations includes wife losing some weight and sending husband some explicit pictures. Once divorce litigation started, husband sent these pictures to wife’s minister father asking if he knew what a woman he raised.

During litigation, husband also drove around at night with their two small children in the car to find wife’s car at a friends house and pour airplane acid (yeah, apparently it’s a thing) all over wife’s hood.


That’s A Creep-Move

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One of my father’s friends tried to salt the earth before getting divorced. A rental house and a cabin were deeded to relatives, the cars they drove every day were sold to other relatives for tiny sums, stocks handed over to a trust ‘for the children’, etc.. He even vanished a chunk of cash from the company he co-owned with his wife using phony invoices and stopped paying himself a salary, electing to burn through their personal savings for over a year instead.

He learned that judges really, really hate when you try to hide or intentionally diminish assets, and they will absolutely refer you to prosecutors for fraud.

I don’t think he did any jail time in the end, but his ex-wife got EVERYTHING, plus the satisfaction of firing him from his own company.


Petty Little Lying Father

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My wife’s ex husband, regarding child support agreed to work on a payment outside the court system because it would save both parties money. He told her he could afford $200 a month, maybe $250 a month but that would be the absolute most he could do. She felt that was a little low but told him to let her think it over and she would get back to him. He then spent the next several days asking her if the $200 figure would work because he knew someone who would type it up and then they could both sign. Ended up finding the state guidelines for calculating child support payments and plugging in all the numbers said his payment should be $800-850. She countered with asking for $400 because we didn’t need the full amount to take care of the kiddo, buy him things he needs on top of doing fun things. Dude outright refused and said there was no way he could afford that much because it would impact his life style to much. She pointed out he was offering less than a quarter of what the state said was the minimum amount he should be paying. Dude still refused. So then we had to get the legal system involved. Lawyers were hired, numbers were discussed in mediation and still he refused to budge. He was told by the mediator, “If this goes to court the judge isn’t going to care if it impacts your life style.” Mediation failed, a court date was scheduled. The date arrives and he walks in with a brand new lawyer, the hearing got pushed because the new lawyer didn’t have time to prepare for the case properly having been hired like 2 days prior. Next court date they tried to bypass the custody hearing by pushing for a change in custody. That fell through because it was based on him having a picture of my wife standing by a mutual friend of ours. Next court date he walked in with a 3rd lawyer and the date got pushed again. Rinse and repeat stuff like that for 8 months before finally a hearing was held, it lasted long enough for the judge to look at the numbers involved, she set his child support at the 800+ figure and that was the end of things. It was the most ridiculous & petty thing ever, he ended up paying over twice what my wife was asking for and managed to rack of thousands in legal fees.


In Health But Not In Sickness

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My father in law had a stroke at the age of 46. He lost the use of his right arm and the ability to speak. Shortly after his stroke his wife decided they needed to move into a smaller house and sell their current one which was under his name and he had paid for. This also meant she was kicking out my brother in law and my wife (girlfriend at the time). She also decided to put down my wife’s cat and get rid of the family dog since their new house wouldn’t have pets according to her. She sold their house at a loss and immediately bought a new car with the money. My wife and her brother found a new place and my father in law and his wife moved in with one of her kids. After 6 months she dumped him at my wife’s place and said she can’t take care of him and they are getting a divorce. I don’t know how it happened exactly but she got half his money, and a new car. She then went to all his family and lied to them and somehow convinced them that he was being abusive, and didn’t love her anymore. We tried to convince him to fight it but he refused to do anything because he was so depressed. The lawyer ruled he was of sound mind so he could make his own decisions. My wife is still upset about it and wishes he had tried to fight it but he still loved his wife so he didn’t want to. He lives with us now and it’s doing a lot better emotionally.


Tiger Mom vs Redneck Dad vs The Frustrated Lawyer

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Divorce lawyer and mediator here. I once mediated the case of neckbeard v. tiger mom. It must have started out as the perfect dream for neckbeard. He landed a hot Asian wife, brought her to this country, but once that green card came through things changed. They had a daughter together and the case was mostly about her. Tiger mom had zero respect for this guy and try as I might to maintain my empathy, I’ve never felt a greater urge to stuff another human into a locker. Two of his demands really stand out. He asked for the following injunction: “tiger mom shall be enjoined from discussing neckbeard’s weight in a derogatory manner, specifically, tiger mom may not refer to neckbeard as fatty, tubby, pudgy, or baymax.” Normally I wouldn’t take an offer like that to the other side. I’d normally help a guy come up with something more sensible, but everyone, including his lawyer just could not take this guy seriously so I wrote that out verbatim and trotted over to tiger mom’s room. Of course she thought it was hilarious. She had a super thick accent and said, “my daughter call him baymax cuz he look like baymax. I can’t fix that, he has to fix that.”

There comes a point at the end of the day when everything is pretty much settled and people are dividing up the stuff in the house. Of course neckbeard has a meltdown at this point and it’s over a damn Nintendo switch for the daughter. Tiger mom made the very sensible proposal that the daughter take the switch with her to each parent’s house as she goes back and forth. Neckbeard freaks out and demands the switch stay with him at all times because “there’s no way tiger mom can take proper care of it.” Mind you the attorneys are billing enough to pay for three switches an hour at this point. I don’t know what happened to the guy but I do know calling him baymax could land one lady in contempt of court after the most hilarious enforcement trial of all time, and he owns what’s probably the most expensive Nintendo switch in the world.

A little extra info – yes I was a bit of a bully here. I could have presented his offer more diplomatically but life is short and I knew it was gonna be a good story and I had to hear the baymax story from tiger mom. Injunctions against disparaging are common and important and the one they got was broader than this.

As for who is the victim here, both? Neither? Neckbeard had a wife who was way out of his league. He also has a well adjusted daughter and plenty of time with her if he wants to take it. He even has gaming in common with her. Tiger mom had to put up with this guy for a few years but now has a prosperous life and a lovely daughter. I say tiger mom because she was impressively focused and dedicated and hard working. They both had good jobs and she was very serious about parenting. There was never much doubt she’d get the kid primarily.


The Ethical Divorce Lawyer

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My ex’s lawyer called mine during negotiations and told my lawyer that ex’s new girlfriend is a real problem and in reality he didn’t see my ex being involved with the kids he was just fighting because he didn’t want me to “win.”

Also, my lawyer was looking into unpaid support and said “I am getting that he owes $1700.” MY EX’S LAWYER said “No, it’s $2100.” TBH, the order was unclear.

My lawyer told me that we were lucky because while ex’s lawyer was very, very good, he was also reasonable, realistic and ethical. I got to see ex get a reality check in the hall before court, then all of a sudden he decided that the offered settlement was very acceptable.


You’ve Got No Mail

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I can answer for a friend. His wife was divorcing him because he’s an unreliable idiot. He figured that he was smarter than everyone so he dragged out the process as long as he possibly could be making it as difficult as possible on her. Scheduling and rescheduling meetings. Not showing up. Promising to do something and then back tracking later. Refusing to negotiate at all. I think his plan was to make the divorce so difficult on her that she would just stay married. He was also doing all this process so her lawyer had to deal directly with him.

After a year of this his wife had had enough. She told her lawyer to make it happen. So the lawyer set a date and the court served him notice of the divorce proceeding. She showed up to court and he wasn’t there. So as the only party there she got a very one-sided deal. She got their business, custody of the kids, the house and all contents, her car, and the bank account. He got his car, his clothes, and half the proceeds of the sale of the house when she decides to sell it. That’s it. He found out about this when he called the court a week after it happened.

What had happened is that her lawyer served the divorce notice to an address in a different town with a similar name. Normally this would have been caught by his attorney who would have received notice directly from the court, but since he had no attorney, there was no one other than him that the court could send it to.

He finally hired a lawyer and tried to get the settlement tossed as he claimed he was never served but the judge said there was nothing he could do.


The Bad Teacher

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A teacher starts her job at the high school I attended at the time and immediately starts hitting on a student. Student is male, 16yo, teacher is female with ink literally drying on her diploma (so 24-26). Things progress to the point where school administration takes notice. And while the teacher isn’t doing anything throw-you-in-jail illegal (local AoC is 15), it is one of the things that can get her fired on the spot (this is Europe – firing a public employee without a bulletproof case against them is extraordinarily difficult). School administration is lenient and she ends with a stern warning and is prevented from teaching in that particular class ever again. Student graduates, some time later they marry, build a house and have two kids.

Fast forward ten years, teacher (now in her early 40s) repeats the performance on another student (again M/16yo). School administration tells her she either resigns or they will go all the way on her (tanking her whole career in the process), so she does. Her husband kicks her out of the house and files for divorce.

And here comes the kicker – neither party wants the kids, and the teacher continues her relationship with the new student despite everything that happened.


Too Late Costed Too Much

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More of an estate issue, but deceased man was married 9 years ago to a woman. These are what I call “late in life marriages” where a woman with nothing marries a retired man with a house, retirement income, and time to vacation.

Man brings a fully paid for house into the marriage. He takes out a mortgage to presumably afford vacations and new wife expenses. Bank requires both names on the mortgage so he deeds it to them as joint tenants.

Two years later, she leaves him for another man and was never heard from again. A couple months ago, he finds out he’s going to die. He immediately files for a divorce (but it was never finalized), he created a deed to his children (not valid because it would need her signature), and a will which describes in detail how terrible she was and disinheriting here completely (doesn’t matter because state allows a wife to avoid the will and take 1/2 of marital property).

He died before anything could be done. She now owns the only remaining assets of the house and a marital car. Even though the son moved into the house and took care of his dying father for two years, no heirs will receive anything. She will receive a hefty house and 20K car.


Some People Never Learn

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An accountant, not a lawyer. I had a buddy, a good guy, but he thought with the wrong head. Divorced one woman, fell into relationship with this another spiteful woman who messed around on him. They had started a business together but all the designs were his. She wanted the designs. I went in as his witness and testified about the amount of money they had invested and that yes, the designs had all existed before the marriage as I had helped him set it up. Well, they spent months fighting about it… her attorney was a crook. $35,000 each in legal bills… both filed bankruptcy and guess what, he got the designs and business, but had to sell his house and leave town. Of course got married again, got taken again… then number 4 had three kids and she screwed him too.. some people never learn. He is almost 60 with three kids under 10.



One Hell Of A Case

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I represented a woman whose husband had attacked her with what was essentially a broomstick but instead of a broom at the end there was a metal scrub brush. When the time came for trial, I figured the other attorney (an old professor of mine) was going to ask for and get a continuance. Why? Because there were pending criminal charges for the assault, and the guy can’t just remain silent in civil court as he can in criminal court – if you refuse to answer a question in civil court, the court can take a negative inference against you.

When the husband’s lawyer and I were talking prior to the hearing, he told me he was going to have the hearing today unless I was willing to drop the alimony claim. I think he took my questioning him if he wanted a continuance as an indication that I was unprepared. Since I wasn’t, I told him I was going to have the hearing, and that his client was going to be my first witness. Husband’s attorney said his client would please the fifth, and I told him the chancellor (judge) would take a negative inference if he did. Husband’s attorney said, “the chancellor will do what the chancellor will do” clearly trying to intimidate me into backing down on alimony.

So when the hearing starts, husband’s attorney is looking a little miffed that I’m still pushing for alimony, and at this point I have an assistant bring in the broken weapon used to attack my client. The wooden handle stood propped next to my desk and the scrub brush lay on it. I called husband as my first witness.

Husband’s attorney jumps up and objects that this is improper and that I have to call my client first. I tell the chancellor I’ll respond when he cites a rule (there is no such rule in this court). The chancellor smiled, turned to husband’s attorney and asks him which rule he’s referring to. He withdraws his objection, and then says his client is pleading the fifth. I respond that this is fine, but that his client still needs to take the stand so he can invoke that on each individual question he doesn’t want to answer, so the court knows where to take a negative inference against him. The chancellor sides with me, and husband takes the stand.

So after my warm up questions, I asked the husband what happened on x date (the night of the assault). He contends wife had driven donuts in the yard he had been working on, and that she then got out of the car and started swearing at him.

Me: That made you angry didn’t it?

Him: It was disrespectful.

Me: That…made…you…angry, didn’t it?

Him: it would have made anyone angry.

Me (slow enough that it sounds like I’m talking to a foreign toddler): That…ma….de…YOU…an…gry…didn’t it?

Him: It sure as hell did!

Chancellor: if you swear again in this courtroom I’ll have you arrested.

Me: You said she was disrespectful and her actions would have made anyone angry, right?

Him: Yes

Me: You didn’t just take that lying down, did you? (Here’s where I’m figuring he’ll plead the fifth and I’ll get my negative inference and move on, but before his lawyer can jump up to do so, husband answers)

Him: Of course not, I hit her!

Me: You didn’t hit her with your hands did you?

Him: no I hit her with that stick you got over there (he actually pointed at it)

Me: You hit her more than once, didn’t you?

Him: I hit her until she got the point. Probably three or four times. (his lawyer is literally facepalming at this point)

Me: You hit her hard enough that the end broke off, didn’t you (I’m holding up the metal scrubber)

Him (turning to his lawyer): Is this where I’m supposed to say I don’t want to answer because of my criminal case?

Needless to say, my client got her alimony.


Don’t Underestimate Technology

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Not a lawyer, but a dramatic divorce story. I know a man who was falsely accused of domestic violence during the separation from his wife. She lived in the marital home and he paid for everything for her despite her having a full time job. She got a boyfriend who didn’t work, and allowed him to live in the house. My friend went to meet her at the house for a final time to decide who would take what from the house. He was recording everything on his phone without her knowledge as he was afraid something would be said or happen that might be held against him. They couldn’t agree, he left and found out she had called 911 and reported that he had made death threats and assaulted her. The divorce went downhill from there. He spent 14k on lawyers, to finally have the charges dismissed. During his criminal ordeal she sued him for 250k in alimony. The recording saved him with the police and to this day she insists he assaulted her. An unbelievable creepshow.


The War Of Egos

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I represented the Husband, and the Wife was extremely, extremely bitter against him. Her first affidavits in the custody action were like 50 pages of angry ranting about his various failures as a husband and father, including waaay too much information about his personal habits. (The first thing the judge did was strike all that from the record). Husband was not the greatest husband or father, but he certainly wasn’t the type of violent deadbeat who deserved to never see his kids again, which is exactly what the Wife was going for.

The property division and custody fight dragged on for about four years before I got on the file, and the Husband hadn’t seen his kids for about three of them. Wife made application after application for parental evaluations and supervised visitation and restrictions on the Husband’s new girlfriend from being around the kids and on and on and on. Simultaneously, the property division was extremely contentious as well. These were solidly middle class folks; the only reason the Wife could afford to drag it out so long was because she had a ton of her own exempt money that she was perfectly willing to burn on making sure the Husband was as screwed as he could possibly be. (Her lawyer, my god, what a piece of work. I hated the Wife’s lawyer so much. Absolute dragon of a woman, she drove me all the way around from batshiz to stockholm syndrome by how hard she refused to ever compromise. She’s the number one lawyer I would recommend to anyone who a) wants to skull freak their ex, and b) has a spare $100,000 to pay her).

Eventually we got the property divided, the divorce finalized, and the first visit the Husband had with his kid in a couple years. Surely everyone was tired of fighting by this point? Haha, no. Wife immediately filed to move with the kids to another jurisdiction, where she had more family support. Husband was plain out of money to fight at this point. He was pretty defeated. We were off the file, so I don’t know if the Wife succeeded in moving the kids, but she probably did.

In the Wife’s defense, one of the kids had some pretty severe emotional issues that the Husband probably exacerbated; I don’t necessarily think she was wrong to want some degree of supervision or restrictions on the Husband’s parenting of the kids. And the Wife absolutely did need family support to care for that kid and hold down a job, and the Husband was the type who talks more about wanting to be a good parent than he was actually willing to put in the effort, either before or after the split. But, my god, couldn’t they have reached a compromise on the parenting and property, and then spent all that money on therapists and visitation supervisors and parenting classes instead of on lawyers? Jesus.

For all y’all thinking that Wife should have lost the custody … what if I told you that “best interests of the child” is not in fact code for “punish the ex wife?” Kids were definitely better off with the Wife as a whole. I think the thousands spent on the legal battle could have been better spent, but the Husband wasn’t contesting Wife’s status as the better parent to have primary custody.


$1,000 Walmart Towels

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During my dad’s recent divorce of my step mom he voluntarily gave her the house, 2 out of 3 cars, and most of the assets. He only wished to take his mechanics tools, personal items, and some necessities like clothes, towels, some dishes and cooking utensils etc.

My step mother demanded in court that he reimburse her monetarily for all of these items, to include the 6 towels he had taken with him, which she had apparently valued at $1,000. When the judge heard this after being informed that my dad had basically voluntarily given her about 85% of his net worth he had to hide a laugh when he said that no, he would not be requiring my dad to pay $1,000 for 6 Walmart brand bath towels.



Keep A Healthy Mind

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My dad is a retired lawyer (not a divorce lawyer, but he knows judges). He got this story from a judge.

Man (lawyer, actually) and woman divorce, somewhat unhappily. They have kids. Woman gets custody with man having visitation. Woman apparently does not like that man divorced her and takes parental alienation as her goal in life.

So far so terrible, right? Man takes woman to court over this. Woman actually ends up in jail for contempt more than once. Apparently they’d let her out and she’d go back to her prime goal in life, convincing her kids to hate her ex.

Judge (who told this story to my Dad) finally tells man “I can throw her back in jail as many times as you want, but there’s no winner in this.” (I’m paraphrasing, it’s been a few years since Dad told me this story).

Dad didn’t know the rest of the story but seriously, the most screwed in that divorce were the poor children.


Nothing Worse Than A Scorned Woman

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But here’s a couple. They have a kid. She gets pregnant again, but the prenatal testing comes back with really bad news. The kid is going to be severely disabled, with a raft of health problems. He wants her to get an abortion. She says no. The baby is born, and her condition is just as bad as predicted.

So he’s got my sympathy up until this. However.

He gets a girlfriend. Files for divorce. He’s thinking they’ll just split everything, and here’s his idea of the split. She can have one kid (the one that had four surgeries before she was a month old and requires 24-hour care, who might eventually learn to speak a few words but will never understand why she is always in pain) and he’ll take the healthy kid. She can have the car, he’ll take the house. He just wanted the wife and child to vanish, and he admitted this to the judge. The judge was not impressed.

Wife got custody of both kids, the house, the nicer car, and he was ordered to cover all the medical expenses for the rest of the disabled child’s life. I was told he started to argue and his lawyer told him to stop talking. Nope. Dad wanted visitation only with the healthy kid so the judge ordered him to pay for the disabled kid’s care during every minute of visitation time so Mom could have a break. Guy starts to argue again and his lawyer told him to STFU if he wanted to have any assets left at all.


Anything To Win

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IANAL but I remember my friend’s mom’s divorce from her second marriage. I guess there is a rule where if an attorney has interacted with party in a suit, they can’t offer services to party b. So my friend’s mom called every divorce lawyer within a 100 mile radius and essentially boxed her ex out of a lot of decent representation within a reasonable driving range.


No Conscience At All

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Not a divorce lawyer but there’s this security guard that works at the mall my friend works at and he immigrated to the US from India and was in an arranged marriage with this American born Indian girl. He busted him off to put her through college and dentistry school and she ended up cheating on him with her ex boyfriend from high school and ran off with him. They didn’t get divorced but he’s still paying off her school loans.


Stinky Reputation Stinky Deeds

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I know a guy who got a prominent position in our community and ended up cheating on his wife and deciding to leave her. He’s insanely popular until what he’s done to his wife is exposed. She files for divorce and he decides to give her everything, I assume hoping to get everything over quickly and have people move on. Not so, ends up losing his position the next cycle and has nothing at all but his car.

He had given his wife millions of dollars in real estate, equipment(owned a construction co), massive savings accounts, stocks, bonds etc. just to try to save face. After losing his position he tried to appeal his divorce.


The Smarty-Pants Uncle

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This happened in my family.

My uncle and his wife divorced and the wife was awarded their matrimonial home which was fully paid by my uncle. They agreed upon the terms (Who will have what) upon separation, signed on papers and was recognized by courts. Basically what they agreed on is the wife will get the house but no alimony. The reason for the terms they both agreed on is upon consideration that the separation happened as his wife had cheated. She found the terms favorable as she will be able to get to keep the mid 7 figure house though she will not get any alimony.

Thing is, before they sign the papers my uncle paid a down payment (50%) for the house to undergo a huge renovation well into the mid 6 figures range. The house is valued at at mid 7 figures so it is a relatively luxurious house. When the divorce was finalized the renovation was only in the beginning state. Walls were torn down, a lot of sand, piles of construction materials here and there, toilets dismantled, kitchen dismantled etc. etc. Basically still in the tearing down phase. At that time they were both staying in another smaller house my uncle owned.

My uncle refused to pay the remaining amount for the completion of the renovation and inform the renovation company. He basically straight up told the company the house is not his anymore and he will not pay the remainder. Since he already paid a huge down deposit the renovation company did not take back the materials left in the house and just left everything in the house and stop at whatever stage of the renovation they were on and stopped going.

His ex wife was basically Fk’ed since it was agreed that she will get their house but no alimony. They have no children, so there is no child support either.

So being a stay at home wife she has no money to complete the renovation, having no savings and no alimony to depend on. And on top of that once her family found she had cheated they basically ignored her. So she has no money, her house is basically un-livable, and my uncle has absolutely no interest in spending another dime on her or her house.



Divorcing The Divorce Lawyer

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Does it count if I divorced a divorce lawyer? We were very young, 26 I think when we separated, were together little over 3 years. She was still just an associate of course, but she worked for the largest lawyer firm in the country, with a phonebook long worth of names in the company name and evil looking giant glass building. We bought an apartment I never wanted, and we bought it before we got married. By we I mean she put 30k she got from her father as a gift into the furniture and decor and appliances, and I bought the freaking 2bd apartment, in the very worst time about 1 year before the recession, where prices were inflated like hell. Even when she started making almost as much money as I did she did not contribute to the mortgage payment. She always used to bug me about paying cash, she never had one coin on her and regularly asked me for some cash because 10 years ago paying with card was not as common for example in taxi, buses, news stands etc. So to shut her up, I started paying most of the expenses with debit card, and it saved me a lot of money, because in the divorce, she expected we will sell the apartment and she would somehow be entitled to half of it. In my country, if I would buy it after our marriage, that would be the case. Long story short, even with a lawyer from her firm who made my lawyer look like a toddler in suit, she went out of the marriage with one car that she insisted we buy, a VW Golf mk6 with entry level basic trim that cost 16k EUR. We had it about 4 months before we filed for divorce, it was in her name, but again – those 40% down were paid from my account. The market value of the apartment after the recession hit also EU market fell down about 25%, so if we would want to sell it, after the bank would get what they are owed, we would be probably owing the bank a 5 figure amount. Long story short, she got the keep the car and I got the keep the apartment I never wanted but had to keep in order to lose even more money on it. For several years I could not even afford a car to drive to work, but I managed to pay off the apartment after 7 years, and sell it with a nice profit. But even the fact she got to keep the car was my good will, the judge studied our account history, where it was clear I paid for dinners, groceries, car maintenance, and for every euro I spent on our household she spent less than 20 cents, and that was WITH the 30k from her father. Even our wedding was out of my pocket, including her dress.


Where’s The Logic In This Justice?

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I had a divorce that didn’t settle at mediation and went to trial. The parties owned a business together which was started during the marriage. This was their sole source of income and they worked the business together. Obviously the biggest issue was who was going to keep the business (wasn’t worth much to sell and split the profit). On a temporary basis the General Magistrate ordered the husband (my client) to keep running the business and to pay the wife temporary alimony. At trial we were in front of the judge this time instead of the General magistrate. This judge is older, bad memory, and was fairly new to family law (she previously handled the civil division in the county). She ends up giving the wife the business AND ordering my client to pay the wife alimony! How is someone to pay alimony if you just took away their only source of income for the last 10 years? I filed a motion for rehearing but the judge denied it. My client didn’t have the money for an appeal so unfortunately there wasn’t much that he could do.

Cherry on top? The husband was awarded his home that he inherited from his grandmother. The wife had been living there during the divorce proceedings. The judge gave her 30 days to move out. She stayed until the last possible day. When the client went back to the home the wife had completely destroyed the inside. She took a screwdriver and scratched a “x” on the surface of all of the furniture and the walls. It was complete bullshiz. In fact, this whole case was complete bullshiz.

My client ended up leaving the country at one point. Not sure if he’s back in the US now.


That’s A Mix Of Stupidity & Ego

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So my friends’ parents had a particularly nasty divorce. Married for 20 years. Not because of Wife but the Husband. Husband was “completely blindsided”. Everything was fine. He got to come home from work and sit in a recliner and eat the dinner that was made. Take his son to paintball and ignore his daughter and wife. Perfect. Wife wanted to go counseling and and asked several times over about 5 years and husband refused. Nothing was wrong. Well finally wife wanted out and filed for divorce and moved out while husband went on a 4 day paintball trip.

Well it goes from there. He wants to have a family meeting so she and kids go over and are AMBUSHED by his redneck trash of family. He has a gun, his friend tried to physically restrain his daughter(my friend. 19 at the time) but her brother, 15yo, got him off her. HORRIBLE SHIZ.

Well. After 3 NASTY years of divorce it’s finally over.

He doesn’t have alimony but he has child support for both kids and he has to pay cell phone and health insurance until each kid graduates from college.

Well here is the justice part. The husband is a MORON. He was horrible to his daughter(my friend) so she stopped talking to him. Well the idiot said “if she’s not gonna talk to me I’m not paying shiz” and when he mailed the child support check it was 1/2 what it was supposed to be and included A HANDWRITTEN, SIGNED, AND DATED note saying something to the effect of “Wife(not naming names here), this check is for the child who speaks to me. I’m not paying for the one who doesn’t and if you say anything to me or give me any shiz, I’ll stop paying for him too”.

That’s cool you idiot. Handwrite, sign, and date concrete evidence of your contempt of court and EXTORTION.

Needless to say it did not work out for him.


What Kinda Dad Are You

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GF is going through custody stuff. Her Ex was abusive and manipulative. He vanished when the kiddo was 1, for a couple years. Kiddo is now 4 and he’s trying to get visitation etc. – she’s all for this initially, but wants him to have a drug screening because he drinks and smokes a lot (and, unlike every other person on the planet gets mean when he smokes weed. Odd but I believe the sincere fear in her voice). Dude obviously aims for alienation of parental affection, trying to do ‘grandma is yucky!’ word association games with the kiddo, and trying to tell the kiddo that ‘mommy is mad at me so we can’t do X’. Hell he dropped her off an hour early one time and said ‘mommy is just running late’. Like, no dude. You don’t get to blame us for not wanting to parent.

So he gets randomized drug screening by urinalysis. Completes the whole program, always clean except the first screen where he had residuals. Goes from hour of supervised, to 2-3 hours of unsupervised, it’s great.

The court hearing is to finalize the overnight etc. portion. Why are we in court? Because she wants twice annual nail drug screenings, and he flatly refuses. Even says he will drop the whole thing and give her everything else, if she drops that one clause.

They go to court, judge listens to arguments, strikes out the drug testing portion as soon as both sides are done (literally, just a ‘nope’ and out).

Haven’t seen bio dad since then, it’s been a month.

Like WTF do you fight for visitation you’re not going to use dude.



The Monstrous Killer

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My mom was a divorce lawyer. One specific story I remember was about a couple fighting for custody over the dog. The guy already lost the custody over the children and then lost the case for custody over the dog. When the mother came to pick up the dog, he told her to get him out of the freezer… Yeah, the sick freak froze the dog to death.



I'll Be My Own Free Lawyer

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IANAL, just a witness to the wonder.

Brilliant PhD (not a lawyer) with a self-centered Midwest MMA-type wanna be (no kids). Married 13 years and during a European tour paid for by her number of invitations to speak at several universities there, she finds out that he’s cheating on her with a gym bunny (who was also otherwise engaged at the time).

As a coping mechanism and general example of boldness, she taught herself divorce law and argued for expedition of the divorce (from the state mandated 6 months to less than one I think).

Asset split was pretty amiable, she got the house, he got everything else (including his totaled car and a broken Jacuzzi he had insisted they buy for “muscle repair treatment”).

He rented a small apartment with his gym bunny and tried to keep his gym open. Unfortunately, gyms in Midwest stay open thanks to youth programs, and most Midwest parents are publicly against blatant adultery. So at near the age of 40, overweight karate douche had to move with his gym bunny into his parents

Points of fun!

During possession split/pick-up, HIS parents apologized to her, saying that they have no idea what was wrong with him.

In the year following, she got several book deals resulting in independent wealth and more international travel offers.

A parent literally walked into his gym and said that if he was still there next week, none of his customers would be.


Flip Him The Bird

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Divorcee here. Bought a house with my ex, 9 months or so before he left me. Because I moved out (rather than watch/listen to him screw the girl he cheated on me with and left me for) he got to keep the house… the house I put my life savings into, both for the deposit and repairs. He didn’t contribute a penny because he was “broke” after buying me a ridiculous diamond ring I didn’t want, which he threw a fit about and disappeared for 3 days when I asked if we could exchange it for something more modest.

I had to hire my own lawyer to sue him just to get my name off the house, while he used his uncle for free. I didn’t get financial compensation at all, despite any of the money I had to pay out being 100% his fault.

And, to top it all off, he got to keep my bird.


There’s Always Family

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My mother divorced my dad when I was like 2 years old. They had bought a house together and my dad’s family offered her fair value to buy the house from her.

She denied the offer and puts it up for sale publicly.

My dad’s family buys it for 40% less than what they offered my mom in a public bidding auction.