Dwad

28 Celebs You Didn’t Know Had Famous Parents

By sturgeon - April 16, 2018
Credits: taken from the internet. sorry we don't remember where.

Do you ever feel like a loser who won’t amount to much because everyone else has it so much easier than you do and they seem just about bred for success? Well, that’s because you are a whiny baby who should suck it up and understand the benefits of grit and tenacity. All told though, some folks are sort of born right into it. Here are 28 celebs you may not know had famous parents:

Kiefer Sutherland, son of Donald Sutherland

Credits: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/REX Shutterstock (5088148e)

Kiefer Sutherland, a man once famous for cheating on then fiancé and LOVE OF MY LIFE, Julia Roberts, is the son of actor and star of the 1992 Christmas blockbuster The Poky Little Puppy’s First Christmas, Donald Sutherland. They are known for getting into drunken fights in the public transport system of a small canadian town, Toronto. (unverified fact.)

FUN FACT: His grandfather also invented Medicare in Canada.

Ron Howard, father of Bryce Dallas Howard

Credits: cnn.com

Ron Howard is a genius at making movies and a weirdo at naming his kids – the story goes that he gives all his kids the middle name of the place where they were conceived. Bryce Dallas Howard should consider herself lucky her parents didn’t bone in Hooker, Alabama. (TOTALLY A REAL PLACE, BTW!)

 

Jon Voight, father of Angelina Jolie

Jon Voight has been wowing audiences for decades with his incredible performances but did you know that he has given the world more than just his talents??? That’s right, friends, he gave the world ANGELINA “SHE’S SO HOT” JOLIE – he used his swimmers to make that baby!

Charlie Sheen, son of Martin Sheen

Credits: pagesix.com

Charlie Sheen is a weirdo mess of a man who somehow believes a witch doctor taking blood from his genitals cured him of AIDS. IT SURE DIDN’T CURE HIM FROM BEING CRAZY. Somehow, this sociopath is the son of AMERICAN TREASURE Martin Sheen. This makes us wonder about the soundness of DNA replication.

Meryl Streep, mother of Grace, Mamie and Louisa

Credits: thetelegrah

No smarm or anything here. No dumb jokes or whatever (IN SPITE OF HOW EASY I COULD BUST ON THOSE NAMES. COME ON GUYS, WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!) – these ladies are unsung gems. Seriously, you watch Mamie or Grace Gummer in anything and they will straight up slay it. Just crush everything. They will murder a scene. MURDER IT. It’s not really a wonder given that their mother IS THE GREATEST ACTOR OF ALL TIME OMG OMG MERYL STREEP WE LOVE YOUUUUUUUU.

Allison Williams, daughter of Brian Williams

Credits: Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images

Allison Williams, one of the stars of HBO’s comedy/drama Girls (a show that had her hook up some kind of robotic paddle to her bum for a scene that required vigorous bum-munching), is the daughter of disgraced news anchor Brian Williams. Given his propensity for playing make-believe, it’s no wonder she’s a natural.

Blythe Danner, mother of Gwyneth Paltrow

Credits: abcnews-go.com

Did you know that award-winning actress Blythe Danner is the mother of snake-oil huckster and huge fan of “really effective” wellness plans, Gwyneth Paltrow? No? Same here. Who is Blythe Danner? Don’t know? Same here. 

Jaden Smith, son of Jada Pinkett and Will Smith

Credits: justjared.com

Jaden Smith, rapper & internet philosophimizer, is the son of… I MEAN COME ON, YOU KNOW THIS! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS?!?!?!

Come on, playboy, it’s Jada Pinkett and Will Smith, a star so huge he renamed the year 2000 THE WILLENNIUM. That’s right, scientology allows you to name Epoch after yourself. Tom Cruise instead chose to jump on the couch of a rich lady doing a TV show in her living room. Well done Tom. Well done.

Billy Ray Cyrus, father of Miley Cyrus

Credits: todayshow.com

Miley Cyrus may have come in on a wrecking ball, but her famous mullet of a father Billy Ray Cyrus already had an Achy Breaky Heart. They have been known to be weird together by the way, like, in a weird “woah what’s up with that” kinda thing. Anyway, just google “miley weird dad”. you’re welcome.

Chris Pine, son of Robert Pine

Credits: beautygeeks.com

New (AND NOT IMPROVED) James T. Kirk, actor Chris Pine came to the whole acting thing quite naturally – his dad, Robert Pine has been in a ton o’ junk (CHiPs, I GOT YOU. ROVER DANGERFIELD, I GOT YOU). Don’t believe us? That’s fine. No care whatoever. Move on to the next page because you’re not welcome on this one anymore.

Naomi Judd, mom of Ashley Judd

Credits: Photo by Ke.Mazur/WireImage

It’s a surprise that Ashley Judd (and THE BEST of all Ashley’s) didn’t end up singing just like her dear old mom, country superstar Naomi Judd. We personally didn’t invest any time whatsoever in researching her albums, because country, however, a few million people did and really like it. WELL DONE NAOMI!

Liv Tyler, daughter of Steven Tyler

Credits: cbsnews.com

One used to idolize Elvis and the other can speak friggin’ Elfish. That’s right, you fantasy nerds, I’m talkin’ ‘bout the father/daughter team of Steven and Liv Tyler. Random true story: Yours truly saw Steven Tyler at the feet of Brazilian Jesus in Rio, walking around like he didn’t write the song “Dream On” and that 473 people were walking behind him taking half-baked selfies which his hair. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE STEVEN, STOP FAKING IT.

John Aniston, father of Jennifer Aniston

Credits: nydailynews.com

My man John Aniston, in addition to killing it in the role of Victor Kiriakis (SHOUT OUT DAYS OF OUR LIVES), he’s also killing it at the whole making-an-amazing-daughter thing by making the one and only JENNIFER ANISTON. YES THAT’S RIGHT, HE FATHERED JEANNIE FROM FERRIS BUELLER!!!!. Now’s that’s something to take to your grave.

Tom Hanks, Colin Hanks

Credits: (AP Photo/Evan Agostini)

Colin Hanks, son of America’s dad Tom Hanks, told media that he and his dad don’t really “talk shop” when they get together, choosing instead to focus on other subjects, which explains why he’s still just “Colin Hanks” and his dad is TOM HANKS, man. Maybe you wanna make that phone call, playboy. Maybe if your dad is THE BEST TO EVER DO IT, you wanna send that email asking for a little help. Go ahead, we’ll wait. No one will judge. 

Dakota Johnson, daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith

Credits: vanityfair.com (we love you!)

Star of 50 Shades of “Spank IT” Grey, Dakota Johnson, is having aggressive coitus in bad movies and making famous actor parents, Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith, SUPER PROUD FOR SURE. But hey, no one here ever googled her name plus the word “naked” beside it. I’m not looking, YOU’RE LOOKING!

Ben Stiller, son of Jerry Stiller

Credits: taken from the internet. sorry we don't remember where.

Ben Stiller has been quoted more than once, giving his famous parents credit for getting him into acting. Without Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, we may never have had the great privilege of watching him as the now ubiquitous Tommy on NBC ratings-smash Friends. Or Zoolander, our “this is my goal in life” epic work of art.

James Brolin, father of Josh Brolin

Credits: warnerbros

If a spray tan and Kenny Rogers had a baby, it would be actor James Brolin. If James Brolin and some random normal human woman had a baby and then James Brolin later divorced the human woman and then married and subsequently divorced one of the stars of WKRP in Cincinnati and then married glorious songbird Barbara Streisand, well that baby would be Josh Brolin.

Lily Collins, daughter of Phil Collins

Credits: relativitymedia.com

Gorgeous eyebrows attached to a human face, Lily Collins went into showbiz just like her dear ol’ dad Phil “Cool drums bro” Collins; although, instead of cranking out jams that make my mom drink wine and dance all weird in front of my dad while using silk handkerchiefs, she became an actor. Thanks for not making my mom sexually aroused, Lily Collins, much obliged.

Riley Keough, daughter of Lisa Marie Presley

Credits: theblast.com

Riley Keough is an up-and-coming unsung powerhouse talent with the most bonkers family ties. She’s the daughter of Lisa Marie Presley, which makes her ELVIS “THE KING” PRESLEY’s granddaughter. As if that wasn’t enough, she was at different points in her life both Michael Jackson and NICHOLAS “WHO AM I” CAGE’s stepdaughter. No matter what, whomever you are, wherever you are, homegirl has got you beat every single way possible. No contest. It’s over. Quit and go home.

Carrie Fisher, daughter of Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds

Credits: moviefanatic.com

You can basically phone it in for the rest of your days if you’ve given the world Princess Leia. Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds are the famous folks who bore the best, brightest, and baddest in any galaxy ever: Carrie Fisher!

Emma Roberts, daughter of Eric Roberts

Credits: tomorrowoman.com

Cutey-patootey Emma Roberts comes from a pretty famous family of actors – she is the daughter of Eric Roberts (what you get when you cross my mom’s night time fantasies, tanning butter, and the confidence needed to publicly discuss the benefits of paying for intercourse) and the niece of THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, Julia Roberts (not a parent, I know but COME ON!).

Rashida Jones, daughter of Quincy Jones

Credits: billboard.com

Rashida Jones is an actor, singer, writer, director, and runner-up to be my TRUE PURE SOULMATE FOR LIFE (Julia Roberts is #1) also happens to be the daughter of Quincy “I HAVE A BAZILLION AMAZING MUSIC CREDITS TO MY NAME” Jones.

Julio Iglesias, father of Enrique Iglesias

Credits: version finale

Winner of, like, every single music award ever and also their Latin counterparts, Julio “The Real Deal” Iglesias is the father of the human version of intercourse lubricant, Enrique Iglesias. Well, at least he was able to inherit the family name.

Alexander Skarsgård, son of Stellan Skarsgård

Credits: E! online

Alexander Skarsgård, star of True Blood, my sex dreams, and probably some kind of bottled water or cologne ad where he stands in or near a waterfall, is the son of Stellan Skarsgård, which totally accounts for talent and not looks. *INSERT CHEEKY EMOJI FACE

Jamie Lee Curtis, daughter of Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh

Credits: upi.com

Hollywood royalty had a baby, and that baby was Jamie Lee Curtis, star of commercials about diarrhea-inducing yogourts. Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh (SHOUT OUT TOUCH OF EVILS, SHOUT OUT WORKING WITH ORSON “I INVENTED CINEMA” WELLES) made LAURIE STRODE Y’ALL. That would be like finding out that JFK and Marilyn Monroe humped and made Dr. Loomis!!!

Mariska Hargitay, daughter of Jayne Mansfield

Credits: pinterest.com

Mariska Hargitay has played a hard piping cop on over 400 episodes of Law & Order SVU while her mother, Jayne Mansfield, has made an entire nation of dudes drool-zombies – in addition to being a Golden Globe winning actress, she was also the February 1955 centerfold in Playboy Magazine.

Bruce and Laura Dern

Credits: imdb

NOW THIS IS MY TEAM RIGHT HERE. THERE HAS NOT EVER BEEN, NOR WILL THERE EVER BE, A FATHER & DAUGHTER DUO OF SUCH RAW, INCOMPARABLE TALENT AS BRUCE AND LAURA DERN. DON’T BELIEVE ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WATCH ANNNNNNNNNY OF THEIR MOVIES, YOU  JABRONI.

Christopher Plummer, father of Amanda Plummer

Credits: wikipedia

You may not know Amanda Plummer by name but you’ve 100% for sure dated a crazy girl who has quoted Plummer’s lines as Honey Bunny from Pulp Fiction to you at least 50-60 times. Amanda Plummer is the daughter of straight-up sex machine Christopher Plummer.