Dwad

25 Worst Jobs in the World (Besides Working at DWADS)

1

Funny Hat Guys

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These guys are troopers. They stand there for HOURS and are not allowed to interact with passers-by. Don’t be fooled by their silly costume though. These dudes are active military and their weapons are loaded. If you annoy them enough they will kill you.

2

UMMM NO THANKS!

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Barnyard Masturbator. Yup. That’s a thing. Someone has to collect the goods and help all the animals get preggo through artificial insemination. Stop being so immature, okay guys? This is a natural thing. Don’t be ashamed about it, okay? Put it on your Tinder profile.

3

Dead Meat

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That raccoon you killed as you were going 85 mph in a 55 zone? Some shmuck has to go now and scrape it off the road and dispose of the body. It’s a living and if we all stopped hitting animals then these guys wouldn’t have a job… so do the right thing.

4

Dang I Forgot My Phone in There

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GROSS. I think the angle makes it look worse that it is, but I’ve totally seen (in real life) someone shove their arm up a cow’s poop shoot and they went all the way up to their shoulder.

My question is why? Whatever the reason for this, how about we just don’t do it.

5

Sewage Diver

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Sewage diver. Sorry bro, you can keep that paycheck. No amount of money could be worth that. What are you diving for? Loose change? Why are there no machines that do that for us? EWWWWWWWWWWW

6

You Suck

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Nothing is worse than a hot Portapotty that hasn’t been cleaned in a long time. Meet my friend Jim over here. He takes a big pipe in there and sucks up all your dung. This profession pays very well, but you’ll never get laid ever again. So make your choice.

7

Toe Jam

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ANY job where you touch other people’s feet is a NO THANKS BUCKO from me. If your foot is broken, let it fall off. Also, don’t wear flip-flops or sandals. No one wants to see that.

Whatever this job is, I bet the suicide rate is VERY high.

8

Murder Scenes

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So after the hunky CSI dudes and gals are done pretending to be cool and smart, someone’s gotta go in and clean the bloody mess. It’s probably gotta lead you into some dark situations and crimes scenes that are mega disturbing. I say burn down the building and build a new one.

9

Deep Breath

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So this is a real thing. You can get a job sniffing armpits for deodorant research. Once again, showing signs of interest for this type of jobs should sound off red flags to your friends and family.

That lady looks like she’s having a good time.

10

Here Fishy Fishy Fishy

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Dead fish collection is a real thing. If you’re a jerk you can try and pass them off as fresh fish and offer them to the locals. That way everyone can enjoy the pleasure of food poisoning. In all seriousness though, thanks a lot BP. You suck!

11

Proctologist

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I really want to meet someone who is a proctologist and have them explain to me how they chose that specialization. How do you not look like a creep showing interest in that kind of thing? Gross. THIS is the worst job ever.

Joke: What kind of car does a proctologist drive?

Answer: A brown probe.

12

Boo!

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Imagine scaring this bloke? He’d probably be crushed under the weight of the bricks on his way down, so I would advise against it. I’m assuming this is his job and not a hobby. This is kind of a dude thing. “I will never make two trips for anything. If I can’t carry everything at once, then I don’t deserve to keep living.”

13

Wha?

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Oh. I see what this is. I mean, maybe the job is fine with good benefits. You just can’t tell anyone where you work. I’d also imagine that you would need to be very deliberate on how you handle the merch so as not to AROUSE any suspicions with your coworkers.

Like what I did there? I’m glad you are spending time with us today.

14

Just Jump Off

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Why do you live where there is that much snow homie? Is this Russia? Probably. I would not want to do this job. Have you ever shoveled for more than like 20 minutes? A lot of people die from shoveling. This is a fact.

15

Neck Deep

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Doesn’t this just sum up the world? The rich 1% with bank accounts and fancy cars vacationing in places where the less fortunate barely have enough to survive and are forced to do ridiculous things for a few table scraps.

P.S. that dude is just sneezing. He’s having a great time. Just relax.

16

Paint Me

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I have it on good authority that this dude was spotted doing an amazing pat down in a TSA line and got offered this job.

Yo, don’t you find it weird that these bodybuilders get all tanned and crap but they don’t do their FACE and HEAD. So it’s this orange body with a floating white head? Something to think about.

17

Sure, We Believe You.

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Way to make something boring dude. Also, this guy studied it so hard that he turned into an old washed up porn actor. Look at him. I can imagine him explaining to his wife “Honey, this is my job… I’m interested in the HISTORY.”

18

Teen Exorcist

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AHHHHH DAYTIME TV. Thanks for bringing us another gem. This job description would make an excellent sitcom modeled after something like Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Do you think she herself is a teen exorcist or she performs the exorcisms on teens only? It’s a mystery.

19

My Breath Smells Like Cat Food

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This isn’t gross. Why would we feed something to a cat that we wouldn’t want to eat ourselves? I’ve secretly always wanted to eat cat food (the wet kind, obviously). It smells so nice. Like French cuisine.

Anyways, cat food always reminds of Ralph from the Simpsons. His breath smells like cat food.

20

Chewing for Horses

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Did you also read this with a southern accent? I reckon they got the wording wrong, but chewing food and spitting into a horse’s mouth sounds like a great gig. Where do I sign?

21

Nope.

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This guy dresses up as a monkey to get rid of monkey gangs.

YO GUY. Monkeys have claws and junk. I would not do that. They gang up and attack people. Look it up, it’s a thing. This guy has brass balls. You couldn’t pay me enough.

22

WEEEEEEEE Oops I’m Dead

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Rollercoaster tester is the worst thing I have ever heard of. This dude goes on when things AREN’T WORKING PROPERLY. He must have one heck of an insurance policy. I can’t stand on a step ladder without peeing my pants from fear so I don’t know how another human being can go on a rollercoaster even for fun.

23

Boiler Room

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My first thought was “OMG! Imagine the fart smells in there?”

The air is probably 23% fart. What are they working on? Why do they not have elbow room? Is that necessary? Yes, this looks like a terrible place to work and the job must also suck.

24

hahaha Please Don’t Kill Me

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Let’s hope the dude firing hasn’t had a few beers.

25

Gator Dentist

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This is a terrible job and I have a feeling that the pay isn’t that great. The good news is that if the gator does chomp down on you, you won’t actually die. You’ll probably lose like an arm or something. No biggie.

Is this really worth it? What do all the animals in the wild do without teeth getting brushed?