Dwad

25 Exciting Ideas to Get out of Work Early Today

trend hunting

Have you had one of those long days at work where you want to leave early but you’re not sure exactly how to pull it off? Well, we have a few ideas to get the juices flowing.

DWADS is not responsible if you decide to try one of these ideas and ruin your life. You and you alone are responsible for your actions. Stop blaming society and take responsibility.

HERE WE GO!!!

1

The Hangover

the urban list

Come into work with a major hangover. Make sure you look disheveled and you’re not sure what decade it is. For maximum effect, swish some Jack Daniels around your mouth just before coming in. I have a feeling your boss will throw you a bone and let you leave early.

2

Punch a Coworker

Christina Holloway

Punch a coworker. Nothing serious – like no throat punches or anything of that sort. Just pick someone smaller than you (someone you can beat up if things take a turn for the worst.) Make sure your superior is looking and POW! Right in the kisser. It’s very likely that you will immediately be sent home.

3

OOPS!

Reader’s Digest

Grab some coffee and spill it all over your office equipment. Make sure you really get it inside the computer where the circuit boards are. I’d recommend you keep the computer on so that there can be a nice puff of smoke to draw the most attention.

“Can’t do any work with no computer, I guess I’ll have to go home!” is what you’ll be saying as you leave triumphantly.

4

Poop Your Pants

CommuniKait

Everyone does it. It’s not a big deal. You did it for the first 8 years of your life, you can do it again. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, just a little nugget. If you’re worried about this, just get a diaper and it’ll be a breeze. No one’s gonna make you stay and work with a poopy diaper.

5

Fire Alarm

wikihow

K for this one, you gotta make sure that there are no cameras filming this illegal activity. (You could make it look like an accident, but I dunno… I wouldn’t risk it.)

Once you pull one of these bad boys, you’re basically free. You can say you got lost or something. No one is gonna bug you about it.

6

Classic

LetHow.Com

Pretend to be sick! It’s the oldest trick in the book and Bart Simpson approved. Make sure you look up the symptoms so your acting is good. They will be ushering you out the door so fast ’cause Karen CANNOT GET SICK RIGHT NOW.

7

Marital Problems

The Modern Man

Divorce is a tough thing. I wouldn’t know for sure ’cause I’m not divorced or married but I’ve definitely pulled this card to get out of work a few times and it works like a charm. It’s all in the slouch and facial features. You gotta get them to say “Hey man, what’s up? You need to talk?” The rest is easy. You got this.

8

Be Honest

In Touch Weekly

Few have the brass balls to try this, but have you thought about being honest?

Tell your boss that you’re just not feeling it today and you’d rather be out golfing. Tell him you’ll be back tomorrow morning and to just take a chill pill.

You’ll be surprised how many bosses would be okay with that. They just want the truth. Enough with the games.

9

Vandalism

MacUpdate

Break a pipe and flood your office. This may result in a prison sentence and millions in water damage, but I can assure you, you’ll probably get the rest of the day off. No one wants to work in sewage.

10

Hackers

Tech Viral

We all have that pale friend who microwaves all their food and lives on the interwebs. Chances are this person knows how to hack computers. Buy him some hot pockets and get him to hack your work comps. Whatever it takes to make sure no work can be done.

To make it more convincing, yell something like “Dammit, I was really hoping to get work done today!” as you leave your office.